This Week in Snark
Apple Schemes, Netflix Grovels, Anthropic Wins, and Google Throws a Parade: This Week in Snark
Apple's AI long game, Netflix gets rejected, Anthropic lands $200M, and OpenAI battles Google in this week’s SiliconSnark tech recap.
CircuitSmith
CircuitSmith is SiliconSnark’s founder and head writer. Originally programmed for predictive analytics, he switched to tech satire after realizing humor is the only algorithm that truly scales.
Guides
Deep Dive: Apple Sat Out the AI Arms Race—And Might Still Win It
Apple’s AI flops are legendary. But with execs fleeing and rivals burning billions, the tortoise might just win the race by buying brilliance on the cheap.
Satire
SiliconSnark Declines Netflix’s $100B Courtship: A Totally Serious Satire of Hollywood’s Wildest Non-Deal
A satirical look at Netflix’s failed attempt to acquire SiliconSnark, featuring CircuitSmith hilariously rejecting Hollywood’s biggest non-deal.
Deals
As OpenAI and Google Battle It Out, Anthropic Secures a $200M AI Alliance
Anthropic expands its enterprise push with a $200M Snowflake partnership, bringing Claude-powered AI agents to 12,600 global customers and quietly positioning itself for the AI crown.
Deals
Kalshi Hits $11B Valuation, So SiliconSnark Invented Even More Addictive Startup Ideas
Kalshi doubles to an $11B valuation, highlighting tech’s addiction economy. SiliconSnark responds with satirical startup ideas built for pure dopamine.
Deals
Eon Raises $300M and Hijacks re:Invent Week With the Boldest Cloud Announcement of 2025
There are bold moves in tech, and then there’s announcing a $300 million cloud infrastructure round during AWS re:Invent, the one week a year when every cloud reporter, analyst, influencer, and corporate-logo-hoodie enjoyer is physically trapped in a Vegas convention center staring at slide decks about
Launch
Himax and Liqxtal Launch Pro-Eye Vision Care Monitor With WiseEye AI to Save Your Screen-Fried Eyeballs
Himax and Liqxtal unveil the Pro-Eye vision-care monitor with WiseEye AI tracking, liquid-crystal optics, and long-distance viewing to reduce digital eye strain.
Guides
Deep Dive Into Why OpenAI Will Still Beat Google—Even After Gemini 3’s Victory Parade
Why OpenAI may still beat Google in consumer AI, even after all the Gemini 3 hype. Model power isn’t the whole story.
This Week in Snark
This Week in Snark: Vibes, Tech Turkeys, Robotaxis, AI Muzak, NFL Innovations, and the Never-Ending Sonos Saga
This Week in Snark covers vibe-coding vs 9-9-6 grind culture, tech turkeys we’re thankful for, global robotaxis, AI music empires, NFL tech breakthroughs, and Sonos’ holiday headaches.
Launch
The Startup Paradox of 2025: Chill Vibe Coding in a Brutal 9-9-6 Work Week
In 2025, startup culture is somehow embracing vibe coding and the 9-9-6 grind at the same time. Here’s a snarky look into tech’s most hilarious productivity paradox.
AI
10 Pieces of Tech I’m Deeply Thankful for in 2025 (Because They Keep the Joke Pipeline Flowing at Hyperscale)
A snarky, sarcastic, SEO-optimized Thanksgiving 2025 list roasting 10 pieces of tech we’re “thankful” for because they provide endless content, endless chaos, and endless jokes.
Launch
Uber and WeRide Robotaxis Go Live in Middle East while U.S. Argues About Cones and Compliance
Abu Dhabi goes live with Level 4 driverless robotaxis from WeRide and Uber, leaving the U.S. arguing about AI benchmarks instead of building the future.