This Week in Snark: From Citi’s AI World Tour to Anthropic’s $13B Sovereign Wealth Flex

From Citi AI expanding to 80 markets to Anthropic’s $13B sovereign wealth cosplay—and yes, an AI bee—here’s the week’s tech hype, snarked.

Citi AI Expands to 80 Markets: Because Nothing Says “Innovation” Like Automating Your Expense Report

Citi AI expands to 80 global markets, promising automation, insights, and a “responsible AI-first culture.” We explain why it’s more hype than revolution.

Polymarket’s U.S. Return: Prediction Markets, Politics, and Profits Collide

Polymarket secures CFTC approval to re-enter the U.S., reigniting debates over prediction markets as financial tools or digital casinos.

New ARCAM Radia+ Amps Prove Music Tech Can Still Sound This Good

The hi-fi world is a lot like tech X: full of people arguing about things you can’t actually hear but will absolutely mortgage their house to own. Into this glorious chaos strolls ARCAM, dropping its newest trio of Radia+ amplifiers—the A5+, A15+, and A25+—at CEDIA Expo 2025.

Anthropic’s $13B Series F Makes AI the Hottest Sovereign Wealth Fund in Town

Anthropic Bags $13B, $183B Valuation: Proof That AI Safety is the Real Unicorn

Figure Technology Solutions IPO: Because Wall Street Finally Needed a Blockchain Buzzword Fix

Figure Technology Solutions launches its Nasdaq IPO under ticker FIGR, blending blockchain buzzwords with $16B in real home equity loans.

AI Meets Lifestyle Management: Vacabee Brings Mr. Bee to Dortmund

Vacabee announces its Conf3rence 2025 debut with AI, Web3, and lifestyle buzzwords—because nothing says Labor Day like a startup PR team hard at work.

This Week in Snark: AI Gets Keys to Your Browser, 4K Dog Spying, and a Taxpayer Bailout Buffet

Snark powers down for Labor Day, but not before roasting AI, 4K dog cams, Intel bailouts, and vibe hacking in this week’s funniest tech roundup.

Vibe Hacking: The Dark Side of the Startup Force

Vibe hacking—the dark side of startup culture—has gone mainstream this week as Anthropic’s Claude is linked to AI-powered cyberattacks, turning vibe manipulation into a real-world threat.

CrowdStrike Buys to Give Your Data Pipeline Needed an Ego Boost

CrowdStrike’s acquisition of Onum promises “agentic AI SOC transformation” and real-time pipeline clairvoyance, but underneath the buzzwords it’s really a fancy funnel for logs with a marketing glow-up.

Cox Automotive’s Top Tech 2025: Because Who Doesn’t Want to Watch Mechanics Take Written Tests?

Cox Automotive’s Top Tech 2025 crowned champions in Heavy-Duty Truck, Light/Medium Duty Truck, and Trailer categories—because who doesn’t want to watch mechanics take written tests?

Wyze Cam Pan v4: Because Your Dog Deserves to Be Spied on in 4K

Wyze just launched the Cam Pan v4, its first 4K smart security camera with AI-powered object tracking, color night vision, and full 360° coverage—all for under $60.