Guides
The Definitive 2026 Guide to GPTs, Claude, Gemini, Grok, and Friends
A July 2026 field guide to ChatGPT, Claude, Gemini, Grok, Kimi, Qwen, Meta AI, Mistral, open weights, coding agents, and AI companions.
AI
Microsoft Is Spending Billions to Put Mistral AI Behind Europe’s Firewall
Microsoft is funding Mistral’s European AI expansion, making “sovereign AI” less a slogan and more a very expensive deployment option.
Deep Dive
Deep Dive: Microsoft’s AI Strategy Has Azure, Copilot, OpenAI, and One Giant Bill
Microsoft remains an AI leader, but OpenAI tensions, huge capex, Copilot pressure, and investor doubt are reshaping its 2026 AI strategy.
Big Tech
Microsoft and OpenAI Are Now 'Official but Non-Exclusive.' The AGI Clause Got a Quiet Funeral.
After five years of exclusivity, Microsoft and OpenAI just announced an open relationship. They also buried the clause about what happens when AI becomes smarter than us. No big deal.
Big Tech
Microsoft's Superintelligence Team Has Arrived—They Made a Transcription Tool
Microsoft launched a 'MAI Superintelligence' team six months ago to achieve AI self-sufficiency from OpenAI. Today's debut: a speech-to-text model. The countdown continues.
Launch
Microsoft Copilot Health: AI Will Now Calmly Explain Why Your Wearable Says You’re Dying
Microsoft just launched Copilot Health, an AI designed to analyze your wearables, lab tests, and medical records. The goal: explain your health. The internet’s reaction: cautiously curious.
This Week in Snark
This Week in Snark: Apple’s Avalanche of Launches, Databricks’ Alphabet Soup, and Microsoft’s Empty Promises
This Week in Snark: Microsoft’s empty MOU, Apple’s press release flood, Databricks’ Series K, and Google censoring our funniest articles.
AI
Microsoft and OpenAI Announce a Memorandum of Understanding, Which Is Fancy Talk for “We’ll Get Back to You Later”
Microsoft and OpenAI announced a non-binding MOU with just 47 words — here’s an 800-word snarky breakdown of what the shortest press release in tech history really means.
This Week in Snark
This Week in Snark: AI Avalanche, Designer Babies, and One Extremely Loud Soundbar
A week packed with AI announcements, design bromances, and sonic overcompensation.
Satire
Farewell, Skype: The Rise, Fall, and Glorious Lag of a Once-Great App
It is with a mix of nostalgia and profound indifference that we gather here today to mourn Skype's slow, painful, and utterly predictable demise.