D-Wave Releases Toolkit So Developers Can Pretend Quantum AI Is Real Today
D-Wave’s new open-source quantum AI toolkit lets developers integrate quantum computing into PyTorch for generative machine learning.
AI
NTT Builds AI That Maps Expert Decisions So Interns Can Pretend They Know What They’re Doing
Finally, NTT has launched a flowchart to help you sound smart in meetings without actually being smart.
Tim Cook Just Dunked on Every "Apple Is Doomed" Thinkpiece
Apple posted $94 billion in revenue this quarter. The joke's not just on the haters — it's on all of us for forgetting that Apple prints cash like it’s the U.S. Treasury with better branding.
Zuckerberg's "Personal Superintelligence" Post, Roasted to a Carbonized Crisp
Zuckerberg’s latest AI manifesto on Personal Superintelligence was too absurd to ignore.
You Could Fix Your Sizing Chart, or You Could Build NaizGPT
NaizGPT promises to replace retail dashboards with AI-powered chats—but can a chatbot really explain why your blazers keep coming back?
Bureaucracy, But Make It Cloud-Native: EQT and CPP Acquire NEOGOV
EQT and CPP Investments acquire public-sector SaaS firm NEOGOV to modernize HR compliance—with all the excitement of a digital W-4.
This Week in Snark: TSA Scans, StreamStore Schemes, and Silicon-Powered Egos
Skewering TSA’s AI dreams, OpenAI’s power-hungry Stargate, Xfinity’s StreamStore mess, and more absurd 2025 headlines.