Big Tech Beat Earnings. Then AI Handed Wall Street the Receipt.
Alphabet, Amazon, Meta, and Microsoft all showed real AI demand. The catch is that the boom now comes with a data center invoice attached.
Earnings
UiPath Earnings 2026: The Robots Are Doing Great, and They’d Like a $500 Million Buyback
UiPath’s latest earnings prove the robots aren’t coming for Wall Street—they’ve already learned capital allocation, discovered buybacks, and started speaking fluent “agentic automation.”
The 5 Most Ridiculous Numbers From NVIDIA’s Q4 Fiscal 2026 Results
NVIDIA just posted $68.1B in quarterly revenue and 75% gross margins. We ranked the 5 most surprising numbers from the earnings release.
NVIDIA 2030 Earnings: Jensen Ascends to the Compute Throne, Announces Revenue Measured Exclusively in Exaflops
A satirical deep dive into NVIDIA’s hypothetical 2030 earnings, inspired by today’s real results, imagining a future where GPUs are currency, revenue is measured in exaflops, and Jensen Huang becomes the economy.
Tim Cook Just Dunked on Every "Apple Is Doomed" Thinkpiece
Apple posted $94 billion in revenue this quarter. The joke's not just on the haters — it's on all of us for forgetting that Apple prints cash like it’s the U.S. Treasury with better branding.
NVIDIA Prints $44 Billion and the Market Screams “Daddy!”
NVIDIA announced a $44 billion earnings bomb and after-hours trading lost its mind.