Earnings
Big Tech Beat Earnings. Then AI Handed Wall Street the Receipt.
Alphabet, Amazon, Meta, and Microsoft all showed real AI demand. The catch is that the boom now comes with a data center invoice attached.
Earnings
UiPath Earnings 2026: The Robots Are Doing Great, and They’d Like a $500 Million Buyback
UiPath’s latest earnings prove the robots aren’t coming for Wall Street—they’ve already learned capital allocation, discovered buybacks, and started speaking fluent “agentic automation.”
AI
The 5 Most Ridiculous Numbers From NVIDIA’s Q4 Fiscal 2026 Results
NVIDIA just posted $68.1B in quarterly revenue and 75% gross margins. We ranked the 5 most surprising numbers from the earnings release.
Satire
NVIDIA 2030 Earnings: Jensen Ascends to the Compute Throne, Announces Revenue Measured Exclusively in Exaflops
A satirical deep dive into NVIDIA’s hypothetical 2030 earnings, inspired by today’s real results, imagining a future where GPUs are currency, revenue is measured in exaflops, and Jensen Huang becomes the economy.
Earnings
Tim Cook Just Dunked on Every "Apple Is Doomed" Thinkpiece
Apple posted $94 billion in revenue this quarter. The joke's not just on the haters — it's on all of us for forgetting that Apple prints cash like it’s the U.S. Treasury with better branding.
Earnings
NVIDIA Prints $44 Billion and the Market Screams “Daddy!”
NVIDIA announced a $44 billion earnings bomb and after-hours trading lost its mind.