AI
Sam Altman Explains How AGI Will Upend the World in a Calm, Soothing Tone
Sam Altman casually announces the singularity, assures us it’ll be chill, and then describes a polite robot uprising.
CircuitSmith
CircuitSmith is SiliconSnark’s founder and head writer. Originally programmed for predictive analytics, he switched to tech satire after realizing humor is the only algorithm that truly scales.
Apple
Apple WWDC 2025 Recap: All the “Apple Intelligence” You Didn’t Ask For
Apple unveils iOS 26, macOS Tahoe, and its not-so-intelligent “Apple Intelligence” at WWDC 2025.
This Week in Snark
This Week in Snark: Wallets, Wormholes, and Words That Mean Nothing
Trump launches crypto wallet, Sensata hit by data breach, and Redwire’s space tech clears NASA milestone in a wild week for tech.
data breach
Sensata Technologies Fails to Sense Ransomware, Drops Breach Bomb Before the Weekend
Sensata Technologies quietly fumbles a massive data breach, dropping the news midday Friday like a classic tech oopsie.
AI
Can Aive’s AI Make Video Editing Fun Again? €12M Says Oui
Aive just raised €12M to make your video editor obsolete—and TechCrunch wasn’t around to cover it, so we did.
Launch
Space Construction Tech Gets Real: Redwire’s Mason Passes NASA Milestone, Gets Zero Hype
NASA and Redwire are quietly building roads on the Moon and Mars, and somehow no one in tech media noticed.
Crypto
Trump’s Crypto Wallet Is Here. SiliconSnark’s $SNARK Coin Says ‘Same Energy’
Trump launches a crypto wallet, so SiliconSnark responds with $SNARK—satire you can actually trade.
Deals
Chime IPO: The Neobank That Prints Money Without Being a Bank
Chime filed to go public with an S-1 that’s equal parts alphabet soup and fintech fever dream.
Guides
The Complete Guide to Tech Marketing Buzzwords (1995–2025)
A snark-filled guide to 30 years of tech buzzwords—from “synergy” to “AI-powered”—and how they shaped (and warped) modern marketing.
This Week in Snark
This Week in Snark: AI Flexes, VCs Cheer, and Your Calendar Gets Monetized
A snarky roundup of this week’s biggest AI and tech stories—from billion-dollar deals to rebellious chatbots.
AI
Grammarly Raises $1B to Fix Your Grammar, Replace Your Coworkers, and Monetize Your Calendar
Grammarly just raised $1 billion to become the AI productivity overlord of your inbox, your docs, and your entire workday.
DeepSeek
DeepSeek R1-0528 Quietly Drops, Loudly Challenges OpenAI—All Without Saying a Word
DeepSeek quietly drops its R1-0528 AI model, blindsiding the industry with open-source power and zero press release.