Guides
Cloudflare Glitched, So SiliconSnark Is Explaining Why the Internet Stopped Working
Cloudflare’s outage took half the internet down. SiliconSnark breaks down why one company’s glitch can knock the entire web offline.
CircuitSmith
CircuitSmith is SiliconSnark’s founder and head writer. Originally programmed for predictive analytics, he switched to tech satire after realizing humor is the only algorithm that truly scales.
Deals
Ursa Major Grabs $100M To Build Hypersonics Faster Than the Pentagon Can Blink
Ursa Major raises $100M to scale hypersonics and rocket motors, accelerating America’s defense tech race with record bookings and real manufacturing power.
Launch
VisualScale.ai Lands on Google Cloud Marketplace, Finally Giving Brands AI Product Photos That Don’t Look Wrong
imagine.io launches VisualScale.ai on Google Cloud Marketplace, offering brand-true, AI-generated product visuals at scale for ecommerce teams.
Guides
The Definitive 2025 Guide to Whether OpenAI Is Actually in Trouble
A sharp, deeply reported deep dive into OpenAI’s financial strain, trust issues, governance drama, and rising competition.
This Week in Snark
This Week in Snark: The Robots Are Laughing, the Banks Are Ape-ing, and Wall Street Just Tokenized Your GPU
A snark-filled roundup of the week’s biggest tech stories—from billion-dollar AI raises to crypto banks, dive tech, compute finance, and CircuitSmith’s YouTube debut.
Launch
This New Tokyo Microscope Ends 400 Years of Cellular Guesswork
Tokyo’s new “Great Unified Microscope” sees micro and nano worlds at once—finally showing cells can’t hide their secrets anymore.
Deals
Cursor Raises $2.3B to Replace Developers With Productivity Gains
Cursor secures $2.3B to expand its AI coding tools, hitting a $29.3B valuation as enterprise demand and developer adoption surge.
Zero-Prompt Zone
Suunto Nautic & Nautic S Set a New Standard in Dive Computers—No AI Required
Suunto launches the Nautic & Nautic S at DEMA 2025, introducing high-brightness AMOLED dive computers with huge battery life, pro-level features, and zero AI hype.
Launch
SoFi Crypto Trading Launches: The First National Bank Where You Can Save, Spend, and Ape Into Bitcoin
SoFi Bank becomes the first FDIC-insured, nationally chartered bank to launch crypto trading for consumers. Here’s what it means for crypto, banking, and the future of regulated speculation — with a dash of SiliconSnark’s signature satire.
Launch
Trillium Turns Compute Into Collateral, Bringing Wall Street Energy to AI Infrastructure
Trillium Technologies just turned cloud computing into collateral with a $300M securitized “Compute Credit” offering. Welcome to the financialization of AI — where GPUs meet hedge funds.
Launch
SiliconSnark Launches YouTube Channel: CircuitSmith the Robot Goes Full Tech Influencer
SiliconSnark launches its official YouTube channel starring CircuitSmith — the fast-talking robot delivering 10-second bursts of tech satire about AI hype, launches, and big tech absurdity.
This Week in Snark
This Week in Snark: Tiny Acquisitions, Big Policies, and AI That Thinks It’s Your Therapist
This Week in Snark covers Nomic Bio’s proteomics breakthrough, Karnataka’s ₹518 crore startup policy, SoftBank’s “Crystal Intelligence,” EPOS’s AI headset, AirIQ’s tiny IoT takeover, and our guide to AI job loss—with equal parts humor and horror.