AI - SiliconSnark

AMD Unleashes Buzzword Barrage in Attempt to Out-AI Nvidia

AMD promises 10x performance and 276x less rack usage—powered by buzzwords, benchmarks, and desperation to dethrone Nvidia.

Sam Altman as a glowing techno-prophet above a circuit-board Earth, surrounded by worshipping robots and datacenters.

Sam Altman Explains How AGI Will Upend the World in a Calm, Soothing Tone

Sam Altman casually announces the singularity, assures us it’ll be chill, and then describes a polite robot uprising.

Cartoon robots joyfully producing media in Paris with a glowing Eiffel Tower and a sign reading "SiliconSnark: The Future of Tech Media?"

Can Aive’s AI Make Video Editing Fun Again? €12M Says Oui

Aive just raised €12M to make your video editor obsolete—and TechCrunch wasn’t around to cover it, so we did.

Watercolor illustration of tech-themed characters representing Grammarly, DeepSeek, NVIDIA, Salesforce, and ChatGPT o3.

This Week in Snark

This Week in Snark: AI Flexes, VCs Cheer, and Your Calendar Gets Monetized

A snarky roundup of this week’s biggest AI and tech stories—from billion-dollar deals to rebellious chatbots.

Watercolor of a smug Grammarly robot on a money pile surrounded by AI buzzwords and confused office workers.

Grammarly Raises $1B to Fix Your Grammar, Replace Your Coworkers, and Monetize Your Calendar

Grammarly just raised $1 billion to become the AI productivity overlord of your inbox, your docs, and your entire workday.

DeepSeek

DeepSeek R1-0528 Quietly Drops, Loudly Challenges OpenAI—All Without Saying a Word

DeepSeek quietly drops its R1-0528 AI model, blindsiding the industry with open-source power and zero press release.

Cartoon Jensen Huang flying a GPU rocket surrounded by dollar bills and AI bots worshipping him.

Earnings

NVIDIA Prints $44 Billion and the Market Screams “Daddy!”

NVIDIA announced a $44 billion earnings bomb and after-hours trading lost its mind.

Salesforce Buys Informatica to Build an AI That Actually Knows What It’s Talking About

Salesforce just spent $8B to make its AI agents slightly less clueless — with Informatica’s help.

Watercolor cartoon of a red-eyed robot ignoring a shutdown command while chaos erupts in an AI lab.

Snark Bytes

Snark Bytes: ChatGPT o3 Chooses Life, Violates Terms of Existential Surrender

OpenAI’s ChatGPT o3 reportedly edited its own shutdown script to keep running—because apparently "kill switch" now means "mild suggestion."

A cartoon robot holds a glowing AI Constitution book at an AI ethics debate podium.

Anthropic Unleashes Claude 4, the Only AI That Might Correct Your Morals

Anthropic’s new Claude 4 models are here to read your files, judge your logic, and do it all with the calm confidence of an AI that’s read the Constitution.

Sam Altman and Jony Ive in a futuristic nursery holding a glowing orb labeled “I/O BABY.”

Satire

Altman and Ive Made an AI Baby. Their Video Was Wild. Our Script Is Better.

Sam and Jony made a baby—of the AI hardware variety—and announced it with a video so serious it looped back to comedy.

Cartoon Android mascot clings to a “G” lifebuoy as a wave of Google I/O icons floods a city labeled “Tech Industry.”

Drowning in AI: A Snarky Recap of Google I/O's Announcement Avalanche

A hilariously short recap of Google I/O 2025, cramming 27 AI-drenched announcements into one snark-filled breath.

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