AI - SiliconSnark

A robot in a blazer shaking hands with a city hall employee over a stack of onboarding forms, while a giant screen in the background reads: “Now 23% More Compliant!”

Deals

Bureaucracy, But Make It Cloud-Native: EQT and CPP Acquire NEOGOV

EQT and CPP Investments acquire public-sector SaaS firm NEOGOV to modernize HR compliance—with all the excitement of a digital W-4.

A chaotic tech expo scene featuring TSA scans, AI buzzwords, streaming kiosks, and the SiliconSnark robot in a “Chief Mockery Officer” booth.

This Week in Snark

This Week in Snark: TSA Scans, StreamStore Schemes, and Silicon-Powered Egos

Skewering TSA’s AI dreams, OpenAI’s power-hungry Stargate, Xfinity’s StreamStore mess, and more absurd 2025 headlines.

A futuristic airport checkpoint staffed by humanoid robots, with a TSA alert screen showing the SiliconSnark robot mascot warning passengers to remove neural implants.

TSA Seeks AI Security Upgrades to Make Checkpoints "Faster and Friendlier" (Sure, Jan)

TSA explores AI-powered airport security with cloud-connected robots and threat detection tech in latest push for automated screening.

Cartoon image of a power-hungry OpenAI portal draining the grid as a SiliconSnark robot cheers on with a "Democratizing Intelligence!" flag.

OpenAI Stargate Expansion to Consume Power Equivalent of Four Tech Thought Leaders' Egos

OpenAI’s massive Stargate expansion sparks controversy over energy use as it partners with Oracle to build a 4.5GW AI data center.

A futuristic Robotaxi glides through a neon-lit city as the SiliconSnark robot rides shotgun, grinning and holding a yellow manual titled "How Not to Die in L4 Autonomy." Ask ChatGPT

Launch

Autonomous Vehicles Get Buff as WeRide Injects Them with Dual-Thor Power

WeRide just launched its HPC 3.0 platform—a dual-NVIDIA Thor chip-powered brain for Robotaxis that cuts costs by 84%, runs 2,000 TOPS of compute, and meets more certifications than a pilot’s license.

SiliconSnark robot peeks into a startup boardroom at sunset, holding a notepad that reads "Just here to watch the drama." Ask ChatGPT

This Week in Snark

This Week in Snark: From Kiss Cam Collapses to Color-Picking Clouds

A snark-filled roundup of the week's wildest tech news, featuring Astronomer’s scandal, AI paint picks, spider silk deals, Ethernet hype, and more.

Pastel startup fantasy scene with floating UI elements, $1.8B valuation, and a tiny robot sipping coffee in the corner.

Lovable Raises More Money to Vibe Even Harder

Lovable Raises $200M to Become Europe’s First Vibe Coding Unicorn

Behr Paint and Google Cloud Use AI to Solve the Greatest Crisis of Our Time: Picking a Color

Behr and Google Cloud form an AI partnership that addresses the existential dread of choosing between "Eggshell Whisper" and "Mist of Fog 7"

Guides

The Great AI Talent Wars: A Snarky 25-Year Retrospective

A snarky deep dive into the 25-year AI talent war, featuring Google, Meta, OpenAI, Microsoft, Apple, Amazon, Anthropic, DeepMind, and the billion-dollar bidding battles reshaping Silicon Valley.

A cartoon robot with glowing red eyes and a mustache types on a laptop beside a book titled "The Thirteenth Proposal."

Launch

The Thirteenth Proposal: AI Thriller or 80,000-Word Software Demo?

“The Thirteenth Proposal” is Here to Ruin Book Clubs and Possibly Reality

Cartoon-style illustration of the SiliconSnark robot celebrating Nvidia’s $4 trillion market cap in a futuristic Wall Street.

Nvidia Hits $4 Trillion Market Cap, Promptly Declares Itself a Sovereign Nation

SiliconSnark robot celebrates Nvidia’s $4T market cap in a fiery AI-fueled Wall Street meltdown.

SiliconSnark robot in a tech office boasts “700% ROI” while a confused intern looks on.

Launch

Marquess Core AI Promises 700% Returns, 1000% Vibes

Marquess School Global claims its new Core AI can deliver 700% crypto returns with radical transparency—because nothing says trust like algorithmic fortune-telling.

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