Launch
Marshall Releases a Soundbar, Because Apparently Your TV Wasn't Rock ‘n’ Roll Enough
Marshall has launched a new soundbar called the Heston 120, proving once and for all that even your TV audio can pretend it's opening for Metallica.
Latest
Microsoft Build 2025: Now Available in Hardcover, Paperback, and Eternal Scroll
Microsoft dropped the Build 2025 “Book of News” — and in true Clippy fashion, they offered to help… by handing us 50+ pages of AI-generated buzzwords and calling it a book. So we did the noble thing: read the whole thing, survived, and pulled out the top 10 takeaways. You’re
This Week in Snark
This Week in Snark: From Apple’s Petty Bans to Roblox’s Bankruptcy Sim
From Fortnite’s continued exile on iOS to Roblox launching a virtual mall for teens with no money, Silicon Valley is once again proving that innovation mostly just means “inventing new ways to part fools from their funds.”
Snark Bytes
Snark Bytes: Fortnite vs. Apple, Round ∞
Epic and Apple are fighting again, and Fortnite fans are caught in the crossfire of a billion-dollar ego slap fight.
Launch
Roblox Turns Into a Mall So Gen Z Can Go Bankrupt in Both Realities
Roblox has finally answered the question no one asked: what if your 13-year-old could impulse-buy lip gloss and a dragon sword in the same click?
AI
Google’s Newest AI Codes, Optimizes, Evolves, and Probably Judges Your Stack Overflow Posts
Google DeepMind just announced AlphaEvolve, an “evolutionary coding agent” that combines the relentless creativity of large language models with cold, unforgiving evaluators that score your algorithms like a bored TA with tenure.
Snark Bytes
Snark Bytes: eToro Lists on Nasdaq: Now You Too Can Buy the Hype and Hold the Bag
eToro is officially IPO-ing at $52 per share, because clearly the market was missing one more way for retail investors to feel clever before being humbled.
Launch
Fyne Audio Drops New Speakers, Dares Your Wallet to Flinch
Fyne Audio is debuting two new speaker ranges that promise to obliterate both your sonic expectations and possibly your lease agreement.
This Week in Snark
This Week in Snark: Piano VCs, Wag-the-Theranos, and AI for Wage Gaps
This week, a legacy piano brand decided it’s also a VC firm now, OpenAI remembered it needed even more CEOs, and Silicon Valley resurrected the Theranos playbook with extra paw prints.
Launch
Theranos, But Make It Wag: The Sequel Nobody Asked For
According to reporting by The New York Times, Haemanthus is developing a suspiciously Theranos-esque machine: a slick black box with lasers, a screen, and — wait for it — zero regulatory oversight.
Launch
Yamaha Launches $50M Music Innovation Fund, Because What’s a 137-Year-Old Piano Company Without a VC Arm?
Yamaha’s gone full Silicon Valley with a shiny new $50M music tech VC fund. Because why just make pianos when you can make portfolio companies?
AI
OpenAI Expands Its Leadership (Because Apparently One Sam Isn’t Enough)
Let’s talk about OpenAI’s new leadership announcement — or as I like to call it: Now with Even More CEOs!