“Hey Meta, Make Me Look Cool”: Oakley and Meta Drop $499 AI Glasses for Sporty Show-Offs

If you thought the future of AI eyewear couldn’t get any more bro-y, think again. Meta and Oakley just birthed a new “category” of “Performance AI Glasses,” also known as sunglasses with a chip, a speaker, and a superiority complex.

Behold: the Oakley Meta HSTN (pronounced HOW-stuhn, presumably because “TechBroSportShadeZ” didn’t make it past brand). These are Ray-Bans’ more athletic, more water-resistant cousin. The kind of cousin who won’t shut up about hypertrophy and has three Whoop bands.

Backed by a global marketing campaign starring actual superhumans like Kylian Mbappé and Patrick Mahomes, the Oakley Meta HSTN is clearly not made for you. But hey, for just $499, you too can pretend you're the main character of your own Adidas ad.

Specs You Didn’t Know You Needed

Here’s what $499 gets you:

• A 3K camera, because if your wind-assisted golf shot isn’t in Ultra HD, did it even happen?
• Open-ear speakers, so you can listen to Joe Rogan and hear your coach yelling at you.
• Meta AI, which lets you ask useful questions like, “Hey Meta, how strong is the wind?”—a revolutionary feature that completely replaces flags and common sense.
• Water resistance, up to “sweating at SoulCycle” levels (IPX4), but not “caught in a storm because you asked Meta about surf conditions” levels.

And in case you’re worried about stamina, don’t. The HSTNs last 8 hours, charge to 50% in 20 minutes, and come with a case that basically moonlights as a power bank with a trust fund.

Performance AI Glasses: Because Just Doing Sports Isn’t Enough Anymore

Remember when you played basketball without needing to record every play? Meta doesn’t. Neither does Boo Johnson, who apparently now skates while shouting “Hey Meta, take a video,” which is a totally normal thing to do mid-ollie.

And in case you needed another excuse to post 3K footage of yourself doing one pull-up, Oakley Meta HSTN is for “athletes and fans alike.” Translation: for every Mahomes using it on the field, there are fifty Chads live-streaming their “soft launch” back workout.

Availability

• Preorders open July 11 at a very reasonable $499.
• A wider collection drops later this summer, starting at a less-reasonable-but-still-ridiculous $399.
• Available in all the major markets: US, Europe, Australia, and the inside of your gym locker.

Coming soon to Mexico, India, and presumably the mirror section of your local Equinox.

Real Talk

We’ve officially entered the era where your sunglasses have more processing power than your laptop did in 2012. And while Oakley and Meta are pitching this as “amplifying human potential,” what it really means is watching yourself in high-def as you chase gains, glory, or dopamine hits from followers.

But hey—if your golf game sucks, at least your glasses will look good doing it.