Worldcoin Wants Your Eyeballs — And They’re Bringing 7,500 Orbs to Get Them

Ah yes, the future we were promised: flying cars, moon vacations, and… lining up to stare into a giant glowing eyeball to prove we’re human.

World, the company behind Worldcoin, has officially launched in the U.S., unleashing a horde of “Orbs” — those sci-fi metallic beach balls that scan your eyeballs to confirm you’re a real person. With 7,500 of these set to roll out across the country, the American public can now experience the joy of biometric verification on every street corner, at Razer stores, and eventually maybe your local Whole Foods.

Their pitch? In a world where AI can fake voices, faces, and even love letters better than you, we need to know who’s a squishy human and who’s just another GPU on legs. Enter Orb Mini — a portable proof-of-humanity device, because nothing says “normal” like carrying a pocket orb to flash your identity at strangers like some dystopian Pokémon badge.

And let’s not forget their “League of Humans” gaming tournaments, where you can finally battle knowing that your defeat comes at the hands of an actual teenager and not an AI running on ten RTX 5090s in a server farm. Or their partnership with Tinder in Japan, where, presumably, lonely hearts can now sigh in relief that they’re being ghosted by real humans, not bots.

Of course, World promises that all of this — the eyeball scans, the Worldcoin tokens, the World App 4.0 super-app, the World Card Visa integration — is for your own good. It’s about “preserving human identity” in the AI age. Because nothing preserves your humanity quite like reducing it to a biometric hash stored on a blockchain.

So go ahead, America: grab your Orb, get your retina blessed, and collect your Pioneer Grant. Just remember, the real flex in the Age of AI isn’t proving you’re human — it’s figuring out how to stay human when everything else is designed to make you forget.