This Week in Snark: Wallets, Wormholes, and Words That Mean Nothing
Trump launches crypto wallet, Sensata hit by data breach, and Redwire’s space tech clears NASA milestone in a wild week for tech.
It’s been a long, weird week on the bleeding edge of tech, where billion-dollar startups lose your data, meme coins get political, and everyone keeps pretending “agentic AI” isn’t just a fancy way to say “we have no idea what it’s doing.” Here's what got the full Snark Treatment:
🫣 Sensata Technologies Fails to Sense Ransomware, Drops Breach Bomb Before the Weekend
Turns out the sensor company didn’t detect the one thing it really needed to: ransomware. They quietly lobbed a data breach into the Friday news void. We caught it—and mocked it.
🎬 Can Aive’s AI Make Video Editing Fun Again? €12M Says “Oui”
French startup Aive raised a cool €12M to automate your entire post-production workflow—so you can spend even more time pretending you’ll fix it in post.
🪐 Space Construction Tech Gets Real: Redwire’s Mason Passes NASA Milestone, Gets Zero Hype
NASA's new lunar-and-Martian-friendly tool is basically a space-grade 3D printer. It got no press, no launch party, no founder in a Patagonia vest. So we gave it the SiliconSnark spotlight.
🧨 Trump’s Crypto Wallet Is Here. SiliconSnark’s $SNARK Coin Says: Same Energy
The former president launched a crypto wallet. We launched a coin. One rides nationalism, the other rides irony. You decide which is more dangerous.
🏦 Chime IPO: The Neobank That Prints Money Without Being a Bank
Chime’s S-1 dropped, and it’s printing cash faster than the Fed. We combed through all 200+ pages to ask the hard-hitting question: What even is a neobank anymore?
📢 The Complete Guide to Tech Marketing Buzzwords (1995–2025)
From “synergy” to “agentic AI,” we ranked 30 years of buzzwords that made startups sound smart while saying nothing. No one is safe.
💬 TL;DR?
Data got leaked. Space got built. Wallets got weirder. And tech marketing still makes no sense. Just another week on the internet.
