This Week in Snark: AI Avalanche, Designer Babies, and One Extremely Loud Soundbar
A week packed with AI announcements, design bromances, and sonic overcompensation.
🧠 Anthropic Unleashes Claude 4, the Only AI That Might Correct Your Morals
Claude 4 is here, and it’s not just smart — it’s nice. Anthropic says it’s aligned with your values, which is great, unless your values include sarcasm, irony, or fun. We break down the launch of the most polite algorithm since Clippy asked if you were writing a letter.
🤖 Altman and Ive Made an AI Baby. Their Video Was Wild. Our Script Is Better.
What do you get when a design god and a sentient capital-raiser team up? A bizarre, cinematic fever dream of a launch video — and a new AI project that smells faintly of incense and venture capital. We rewrote the script. You’re welcome.
🌊 Drowning in AI: A Snarky Recap of Google I/O’s Announcement Avalanche
Google I/O dropped more announcements than a crypto conference on Adderall. From AI-everything to more glasses you'll pretend to wear, we skimmed the flood so you don’t have to. The shortest article about the longest press release ever written.
🔊 Marshall Releases a Soundbar, Because Apparently Your TV Wasn’t Rock ‘n’ Roll Enough
Marshall, known for amps that go to 11, now wants to make your living room feel like a backstage pass. Their new soundbar is here to remind your flatscreen that music used to hurt your ears — in a good way.
📚 Microsoft Build 2025: Now Available in Hardcover, Paperback, and Eternal Scroll
Microsoft Build dropped a book of news. Literally. It reads like a dystopian novel, but with more Azure and less plot. We slogged through the tome so you could skim a top-10 list and keep your weekend.
If this week felt like the AI hype train ran you over, don’t worry — next week they’ll just launch newer models that claim to write your thoughts before you think them. Until then, we’ll be here, buffering your sanity.
Want your brain to melt in style? Read every article here. And if you still haven’t bought the SiliconSnark memecoin, just know that Claude 4 would probably gently encourage you to do so.
