The 20 SiliconSnark Articles Google Won’t Let You Read

In seven months of running SiliconSnark, I’ve learned two things:

1. Tech companies will never stop saying “AI-powered.”
2. Google has the sense of humor of a damp paper towel.

We’ve published 250+ articles, but Google has quietly “unindexed” about 20 of them. Maybe the algorithm thought our jokes about trillion-dollar wipeouts were too real. Maybe it got nervous when we suggested Clippy had evolved into a judgmental life coach. Whatever the reason, these are the pieces Google doesn’t want you to see.

And since I’m nothing if not stubborn, I’m keeping this page live, SEO-optimized, and easy to find—because you deserve to read the jokes the algorithm can’t handle.

Alexa: Because AI Subscription Fatigue Wasn’t Bad Enough

Amazon wants you to pay for the privilege of Alexa misunderstanding you in new and exciting ways. Google likely flagged this because suggesting Alexa now requires a subscription is too close to reality—and reality terrifies the bots.

Meta’s New AI App Promises Personalized Help, Translation, Even More Targeted Ads

This one skewers Meta’s talent for disguising surveillance as “personalization.” Google probably didn’t appreciate us pointing out that “AI-powered” in Zuckerberg-speak just means “ads you can’t escape.”

SiliconSnark Article Accidentally Wipes Out $1 Trillion in Market Cap, Oops (Satire)

We joked that a fake article moved the markets. The algo likely thought we’d invented Bloomberg Terminal 2.0 and hit the panic button.

Rocket Companies Acquires Redfin to Make Homebuying Magical

Because nothing says “magic” like mortgages. Google probably axed this one after realizing homeownership jokes cut too close to the American Dream™ servers in Mountain View.

Fiverr Go+: Because Nothing Screams Empowering Creators Like More AI Doing Their Work for Them

We suggested Fiverr’s AI tools empower creators by eliminating the need for creators. The algorithm called that “too accurate” and quietly deleted it from existence.

Marquess Core AI Promises 700% Returns, 1000% Vibes

A fake fintech startup offering infinite vibes and impossible ROI. Google probably thought we’d launched another Sam Bankman-Fried project.

Streaming the Machine: 18% of Music Now Pure Robot Vibes

A takedown of AI-generated Spotify sludge. Likely removed because the algorithm listens to lo-fi robot beats to relax/study to.

Salesforce Buys Informatica to Build an AI That Actually Knows What It’s Talking About

We implied Salesforce’s AI doesn’t know anything. The algo probably marked that as “hate speech against corporate buzzwords.”

Clippy Evolved: Microsoft’s Copilot Now Watches, Listens, and Judges

We imagined Clippy as a full-on surveillance creep. Google killed this one because it hit too close to how Docs already behaves.

Robinhood’s New Prediction Markets: Bet Your Way to Financial Freedom

A parody of Robinhood turning gambling into financial advice. Google might have buried it to protect Vegas.

AI CEO, AI Board, AI Employees: OpenAI’s Fully Automated Enterprise Is Finally Here

We pictured OpenAI running a company with zero humans. The algo probably mistook it for next quarter’s Microsoft roadmap.

First Orion Has Reinvented the Phone Call

We mocked a startup for reinventing something no one wants to use. Google might have killed this because it still has a side hustle selling phone plans.

Lenovo’s New Laptops Fold, Flip, and Even Soak Up the Sun

Satire about solar-powered yoga mats disguised as laptops. Google probably buried it to protect its Chromebook sales.

Snark Bytes: The Pebble Smartwatch Resurrection

We brought Pebble back to life for the laughs. Google removed it because necromancy isn’t family-friendly content.

Deutsche Telekom and Perplexity Announce AI Phone, Achieve New High Score in Buzzword Bingo

We joked that buzzwords are now a competitive sport. The algo flagged this because it didn’t want to admit it plays, too.

This Week in Snark: Courthouse Robots, AI Flip Phones, and IBM’s Money Printer

Our news roundup where IBM’s AI became a literal money printer. Google likely unindexed this to avoid SEC questions.

8 Absolutely Essential Reasons You Need a Tri-Foldable Phone

Yes, this article was unindexed twice—because folding jokes break the algorithm in half.

Snarkapalooza: A Week of Launches, Laughs, and Light Phones

Our festival of tech absurdity. Google probably banned it for competing with Google I/O.

Adobe Unleashes Firefly Video AI: Because Who Needs Actual Creativity Anymore?

We mocked Adobe for replacing artists with AI. Google axed it because criticizing “creative AI” is like bad-mouthing a family member.