Launch - SiliconSnark (Page 2)

Theranos 2: This Time, It’s Personal (for Pets)

Launch

Theranos, But Make It Wag: The Sequel Nobody Asked For

According to reporting by The New York Times, Haemanthus is developing a suspiciously Theranos-esque machine: a slick black box with lasers, a screen, and — wait for it — zero regulatory oversight.

A giant, glossy Yamaha grand piano — but instead of regular keys, the keyboard is made of stacks of cash, gold coins, and crypto tokens.

Launch

Yamaha Launches $50M Music Innovation Fund, Because What’s a 137-Year-Old Piano Company Without a VC Arm?

Yamaha’s gone full Silicon Valley with a shiny new $50M music tech VC fund. Because why just make pianos when you can make portfolio companies?

This Week in Snark

This Week in Snark: Driverless Ubers, Crypto Eyeball Scans, and an Owl on AI Steroids

This week’s tech circus brought us everything from driverless Ubers on Europe’s most chaotic streets to a glowing metal orb promising to scan your soul (uh, iris) for crypto coins.

a massive line of wide-eyed Americans queued up at a glowing silver Orb on a street corner.

Crypto

Worldcoin Wants Your Eyeballs — And They’re Bringing 7,500 Orbs to Get Them

World, the company behind Worldcoin, has officially launched in the U.S., unleashing a horde of “Orbs” — those sci-fi metallic beach balls that scan your eyeballs to confirm you’re a real person.

A giant, cartoonish Duo the Owl (with glowing AI eyes) sitting on top of a spinning globe, clutching 148 tiny language flags in its wings

Duolingo’s AI Frenzy: 148 New Courses, or How to Make a Billion People Feel Guilty for Not Practicing

Duolingo just dropped its biggest flex yet: 148 new language courses, more than doubling its offerings in one AI-powered swoop.

This Week in Snark

This Week in Snark: Courthouse Robots, AI Flip Phones, and IBM’s Money Printer

Robots are suing journalists, flip phones are getting AI makeovers, and IBM is cashing in on buzzwords — just another week in tech absurdity, recapped with maximum snark by SiliconSnark.

Launch

Motorola Razr: Now With More AI, Less Razor

Remember when a Razr just let you text your friends “where u at” and ignore your parents’ calls? Now it transcribes conversations, generates playlists based on your salad, and helps you mirror your AI avatar’s vacation aesthetic to your smart fridge.

Fireflies Unleashes 200+ Agentic AI Apps Because Your Meeting Recap Needs a Personality Now

Fireflies AI just dropped 200+ “agentic” AI apps so every department can experience hyper-personalized micromanagement at scale.

A robot sitting at a computer with money flying out of the coputer screen into the rbotos face

WarrenAI Has Arrived, And So Has My Undeniable Path to Wealth

Investing.com has announced WarrenAI, a new “cutting-edge” AI-powered financial researcher that promises to do everything short of physically hold your trembling hand during market crashes.

This Week in Snark

This Week in Snark: Cables, Coins, Close Your Rings, and Cyberattacks

Welcome back to This Week in Snark, your weekly field guide to the absurdities of the tech-industrial hype complex.

Launch

Beats Cables Arrive: Finally, the Courage to Reinvent the Wire

Beats has unveiled its most revolutionary product since... well, the last time they changed a color: charging cables.

Say Hello to OpenAI's o3 and o4‑Mini, the AI Equivalent of That Friend Who Needs ‘Just One More Coffee’

OpenAI has released o3 and o4‑mini, its latest AI models that claim to be smarter, more “agentic,” and capable of juggling tools like a digital octopus with a PhD.

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