Deals - SiliconSnark

SiliconSnark robot watches engineers add DevOps and cloud dashboards to a glowing quantum computer labeled “enterprise-grade.”

Deals

IonQ Acquires Seed Innovations to Make Quantum Computing Act Like Software

IonQ says its Seed Innovations acquisition will help optimize quantum performance at scale. SiliconSnark translates what that actually means.

Split-screen illustration of startup fintech and corporate banking worlds colliding, with the SiliconSnark robot watching as digital payments and AI connect both sides.

Deals

Capital One Acquires Brex: Founder Mode, Meet McLean, Virginia

Capital One is buying Brex for $5.15B, merging AI-native fintech ambition with big-bank scale—and proving fintech’s future lives inside banks.

SiliconSnark robot observes a “human-centric AI” office quietly hiding a $480M seed round behind minimalist startup branding.

AI

Humans&, Human-Centric AI, and the Art of Not Mentioning a $480M Seed Round

A human-centric AI startup raises $480M at a $4.48B valuation—then launches without saying so. Welcome to the mega-seed era.

Satirical illustration of Apple and Google announcing an AI partnership with a tiny press release, confused reporters, and a hidden SiliconSnark robot holding a “47 words” sign.

Deals

Apple and Google’s Minimalist AI Announcement Is a Flex

A hilariously short Apple–Google AI press release reveals who’s winning, who’s not, and why less is now more.

A modern industrial warehouse with ambient IoT sensors on metal crates, as the SiliconSnark robot subtly peeks from behind a shelf, observing real-world asset tracking in action.

AI

Meta Bought an AI Agent. Dot Ai and Wiliot Are Solving Real Industrial IoT Problems

Meta’s Manus grabbed headlines. Dot Ai and Wiliot are solving harder problems: industrial IoT, asset intelligence, and real supply-chain visibility.

Satire

The Letter Groq Should Have Sent to the Employees Left Behind After the Nvidia Deal

Groq’s Nvidia deal made headlines—but many employees were left behind. A snarky imagined letter explains how modern “exits” really work.

A small SiliconSnark robot checks “6–7” vibes as startups line up outside the $6–7 Million Startup Club.

Deals

The $6–7 Million Startup Club: Every U.S. Startup That Raised Between $6–7M in 2025

A snarky deep dive into every U.S. startup that raised $6–7 million in 2025, inspired by the viral 6–7 meme and tech’s most honest funding tier.

Futuristic fusion reactor powering a glowing city skyline as the SiliconSnark robot watches skeptically from the foreground.

Deals

Trump Media Discovers Fusion Power, Declares It Key to America’s A.I. Dominance

Trump Media is merging with fusion startup TAE in a $6B deal promising energy abundance, A.I. dominance, and a power plant by 2026.

Roomba-style robot surrounded by “strategic transaction” paperwork as the SiliconSnark robot peeks out, judging a quiet Chapter 11 reboot.

Deals

iRobot Files for Chapter 11 and Calls It a Growth Plan

iRobot announced a “strategic transaction." Translation: Chapter 11, wiped-out shareholders, and a quiet reboot for a Boston tech icon.

A split-screen illustration showing WTW’s corporate office on the left and Newfront’s San Francisco skyline on the right

Deals

WTW Acquires Newfront: A $1.3B Shortcut to Pretending It’s a Tech Company

Inside WTW’s $1.3B Newfront acquisition and its big bet on agentic AI, tech shortcuts, and insurance’s latest attempt at innovation.

Deals

As OpenAI and Google Battle It Out, Anthropic Secures a $200M AI Alliance

Anthropic expands its enterprise push with a $200M Snowflake partnership, bringing Claude-powered AI agents to 12,600 global customers and quietly positioning itself for the AI crown.

SiliconSnark robot trading on a neon casino-style prediction market floor with glowing charts and emojis.

Deals

Kalshi Hits $11B Valuation, So SiliconSnark Invented Even More Addictive Startup Ideas

Kalshi doubles to an $11B valuation, highlighting tech’s addiction economy. SiliconSnark responds with satirical startup ideas built for pure dopamine.