AI
Salesforce’s New Vision: Turning “Ohana” Into “ICE-hana”
Salesforce’s Marc Benioff has gone from progressive icon to Trump ally, pitching AI tools to ICE to help triple its workforce. Here’s how “Ohana culture” turned into “ICE-as-a-Service.”
AI
Sam Altman Promises a “Fun” ChatGPT—With Emojis and Erotica
Sam Altman says ChatGPT’s getting its personality back—and adding erotica for adults. The AI glow-up nobody asked for.
Launch
Sharp Unveils 18 New Printers, Proving Humanity Still Isn’t Ready to Let Go of Paper
Sharp just launched 18 new “AI-powered” printers for the modern workplace. But in 2025, with screens everywhere, one question remains: why are we still printing anything?
Launch
Cineverse Launches Matchpoint 3.0: Because What the Streaming Industry Really Needed Was Another Platform Claiming to Fix Itself
Cineverse launches Matchpoint 3.0, the “AI-powered media supply chain” platform nobody asked for. Here’s a snark-filled breakdown of its jargon, viability, and corporate optimism.
Guides
Generative AI Image Generation 2020–2025: A Snarky Retrospective
From DALL·E to Sora 2: how AI image generation evolved, who’s winning, and what it means for creators, memes, and lawsuits—snark included.
Satire
Inside the OpenAI–Stripe Deal: A Totally Imagined, Deeply Snarky CEO Conversation
We imagine a snarky backroom chat between Sam Altman and Patrick Collison that turned ChatGPT into your new shopping mall.
AI
Claude Sonnet 4.5: Another Day, Another “Best Model Ever”
Claude Sonnet 4.5 claims to be the best coding and agent-building model yet—but do these endless AI model releases actually matter, or are we just living in a GenAI hype loop?
Guides
CES 2026 Preview: The Hype, the Hope, and the Just Plain Weird
CES 2026 preview: real breakthroughs, wild hype, and the weirdest gadgets in Vegas. Our snarky guide separates must-see tech from marketing smoke.
Guides
Top 10 Most Useless AI Apps of 2025: From Meta’s Vibes to Cat Translators
A snarky deep dive into the Top 10 most useless AI apps of the past year, from Meta’s new “Vibes” feed to cat translators, exposing how much compute we waste on gimmicks.
Launch
ChatGPT Pulse: Now Your AI Will Nag You Before You Even Ask
OpenAI launches ChatGPT Pulse, a proactive AI assistant that delivers daily personalized updates from your chats, calendar, and Gmail. Helpful productivity tool—or algorithmic nag?
Deals
IAS Sells Itself for $1.9 Billion—Because “Trust and Transparency” Apparently Require Private Equity Backing
Integral Ad Science (IAS) Acquisition by Novacap Explained, with Just the Right Amount of Snark
Deals
The AI-ification of 911: Axon Acquires Prepared to Rewire Public Safety
Axon is acquiring Prepared, an AI-powered 911 platform. Here’s why “AI-enhanced emergencies” might sound efficient but really look like another play for public safety monopoly.