Scaling Tech, Silkworm Edition: Kraig Labs Spins a Government-Backed Web

In today’s edition of “Wait, This Is Tech Now?”, Kraig Biocraft Laboratories—purveyor of genetically engineered spider silk and possibly Marvel’s favorite penny stock—is finalizing a three-year government-backed collaboration in Southeast Asia to ramp up its recombinant spider silk production.

Yes, that’s right. A publicly traded company on the OTCQB is using taxpayer-backed infrastructure to scale up mutant silk from hybridized silkworms in what we can only assume is an effort to corner the market on tactical biotech yoga pants, next-gen parachutes, and vaguely threatening future body armor.

According to Kraig Labs, this “landmark agreement” was the result of “years of relationship-building,” which in biotech press release terms typically translates to “we finally got someone to say yes.” The deal unlocks “previously unavailable rearing facilities”—aka government silkworm farms—and offers strategic infrastructure support. Translation: Southeast Asia is footing the bill for Kraig’s Spidey dreams.

The company is especially jazzed about “parallel rearing operations,” which sounds like either a Cold War psy-op or a Netflix docuseries about tiger breeding. But no—it’s just a way to make more silkworm eggs without putting all their silken hopes in one basket. Or mulberry leaf. Or whatever.

Kraig COO Jon Rice called it a “transformative step forward”—a phrase last seen on a WeWork slide deck—and credited the move to “our commitment to excellence.” Which is definitely what you say when your investor page has a YouTube channel with fewer subscribers than a DIY slime account.

Of course, in keeping with all respectable tech announcements, the press release closes with a blizzard of forward-looking statements. Because while spider silk may be stronger than steel, investor confidence is apparently made of Jell-O.