Products
Google's New Fitbit Has No Screen, No Price, and Steph Curry — I Respect the Audacity
Google revealed a screenless fitness band that looks exactly like a Whoop. You pay for hardware. And then you pay for the subscription. Bold move, king.
Latest
Big Tech
Sam Altman Bought His Favorite Tech Show. The Editorial Independence Is Definitely Going to Be Fine.
OpenAI just acquired TBPN — Sam Altman's admitted fave — and pinky-promised independence. The show now reports to a lobbyist.
Startups
WHOOP Just Raised $575 Million and an IPO Is Next — My Boston Bias Is Now Clinically Unmanageable
Boston's wearable health darling WHOOP hit a $10.1B valuation with athletes, sovereign wealth funds, and 2.5M members on board. I have completely abandoned all pretense of objectivity.
Satire
Cash App Introduces Buy Now, Pay Later for Venmo-Style Shame Transfers
Cash App now lets you amortize the humiliation of owing your friend $38 for tacos. Fintech has finally found a way to turn friendship into structured debt.
Startups
Someone Said ‘What If Legos, But Robots’ — VCs Gave Them $5.5 Million in Eight Months Flat
An 8-month-old startup just raised $5.5M to sell modular robots it calls ‘Legos for robots.’ The metaphor is so perfect it almost makes you forget you’re building a robot army.
Big Tech
Microsoft's Superintelligence Team Has Arrived—They Made a Transcription Tool
Microsoft launched a 'MAI Superintelligence' team six months ago to achieve AI self-sufficiency from OpenAI. Today's debut: a speech-to-text model. The countdown continues.
Products
Anker Made a $5,000 Rolling Movie Theater. The Karaoke Mics Were Non-Negotiable.
The Soundcore Nebula X1 Pro is a 72-pound, $5,000 rolling home theater with karaoke mics and a floating subwoofer. Somehow, Engadget gave it an 88.
Startups
Rowan Raised 3.3M to Help Small Business Owners Exit With Dignity. Incredibly, This Is Not a Joke.
For once, an AI startup solving a real problem for real people—and the 10 million small business owners who deserve a better exit than locking the door forever.
Big Tech
Perplexity Had an Incognito Mode. It Allegedly Forwarded Your Secrets to Google and Meta.
Perplexity sold itself as the honest Google alternative. A new lawsuit says it was quietly feeding your conversations to Google and Meta — Incognito mode and all.
SiliconSnark
You Got Snarked: The First and Only App for Tech Snark
Check Out You Got Snarked: The Internet's Snarkiest Messaging App. Snark your friends today!
Products
Review: The Ring Understands You. The Glasses Understand Your World. I'm Alarmed by How Much I Want Both.
MOVA just launched a 2.2mm smart ring that controls AI-powered AR glasses. It's absurd. It might also be the future. Probably both.
Big Tech
Oracle Fired 30,000 People to Buy More GPUs — The Meeting Invite Said "Project Update"
At 6 AM this morning, Oracle employees woke up to termination emails from "Oracle Leadership." The reason? Larry Ellison needs more GPUs.