Guide to the 10 Places Tech Billionaires Living in California Should Move

California has committed the one sin Silicon Valley can never forgive: it glanced at a spreadsheet, noticed the commas, and wondered out loud whether a handful of people with more money than small nations might contribute a little extra to the place that made them rich.

Not confiscation. Not pitchforks. Just a proposal to tax billionaires more.

And in response, tech billionaires have reacted with the calm, measured restraint they’re famous for — by threatening to flee the state, the country, and possibly the concept of taxation itself. So begins the migration fantasy of places where the taxes are lower, the regulators quieter, and the questions fewer.

For any billionaires residing in California who happen to be reading this far, below is a deeply sarcastic (but inconveniently accurate) guide to the top places tech billionaires should move next. Each one offers exactly what this moment demands: a combination of real financial incentives, plausible deniability, and just enough distance to claim it wasn’t about the taxes at all.

If you do take the advice, SiliconSnark humbly requests a modest consulting fee measured in low, single-digit millions.

1. Massachusetts

Why: Because SiliconSnark lives here. Also: proximity to reality.

Massachusetts makes this list not because it’s tax-efficient (it absolutely is not), but because it’s where the snark is strongest, the institutions are oldest, and the founders still occasionally feel shame. Boston doesn’t flatter you. It challenges you. It reminds you that someone smarter than you has been working on the problem for 40 years — and probably teaches it on Tuesdays.

Yes, taxes are high. Yes, winters are punishing. But Massachusetts offers something rare in tech: credibility. World-class universities, real biotech, serious robotics, and a media ecosystem that doesn’t care about your launch blog. If you’re going to pay taxes anyway, you might as well fund places that actually build things — and roast you while doing it.

2. Miami

Why: No state income tax + vibes-based governance.

Miami is where tech executives go when they want to replace regulation with humidity and call it freedom. The pitch is simple: zero state income tax, sunshine year-round, and a social scene where everyone claims to be “early” to something. Often crypto. Sometimes pickleball.

The downside? Infrastructure that sweats under mild stress and an innovation ecosystem that’s 60% networking events. Still, if your goal is to protect wealth, enjoy nightlife, and tweet about decentralization from a high-rise with ocean views, Miami delivers exactly what it promises.

3. Austin

Why: No income tax + founder cosplay.

Austin is for founders who want to leave California without emotionally processing it. You get lower taxes, looser regulation, and the comforting presence of other ex-Californians insisting this time it’s different. It’s California energy with Texas laws and worse public transit.

The city has real talent, growing infrastructure, and enough VC outposts to make it feel legitimate. But let’s be honest: you didn’t move for the ecosystem — you moved because your accountant circled Texas in red.

4. United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Why: Zero income tax + maximalism.

Dubai is what happens when capital is the primary organizing principle. Taxes are negligible, ambition is mandatory, and the skyline looks like a venture deck slide titled “Scale.” It’s ideal for founders who value efficiency, discretion, and architectural intimidation.

The tradeoff is philosophical. Dubai doesn’t pretend to be messy or democratic. It offers clarity: make money, don’t ask questions, enjoy the marble. For many tech billionaires, that’s not a downside — it’s the feature.

5. Singapore

Why: Low taxes, high competence, zero nonsense.

Singapore is where tech wealth goes when it wants predictability. Taxes are reasonable, regulation is clear, and the government actually works — a shocking experience for anyone raised on startup chaos. It’s clean, efficient, and profoundly unimpressed by your personal brand.

The catch? Rules are enforced. Loudly. If you like freedom defined as “nobody tells me no,” this may feel restrictive. If you like freedom defined as “systems that function,” welcome home.

6. Portugal (Lisbon)

Why: Lifestyle arbitrage with EU paperwork.

Portugal is for founders who have exited, burned out, and decided the next chapter involves wine, sunlight, and a tasteful LinkedIn post about “slowing down.” Tax incentives for newcomers make it attractive, and the cost of living still undercuts most U.S. tech hubs.

You won’t build the next trillion-dollar company here. But you will write think pieces, join panels about “the future of work,” and quietly enjoy the fact that your money goes much further — at least until everyone else arrives.

7. Zurich

Why: Wealth preservation, not attention.

Zurich is for billionaires who are done being interesting. Taxes are negotiable (legally), privacy is respected, and the trains arrive exactly when they say they will. It’s a city designed to protect capital, not celebrate disruption.

No one here cares what you founded. That’s the point. If your ego has finally matured into a balance sheet, Zurich is the soft landing you’re looking for.

8. Monaco

Why: Zero income tax, zero subtlety.

Monaco is not a country so much as a tax outcome with a coastline. If you’ve fully transitioned from “tech founder” to “wealth entity,” this is the final form. No income tax, extreme privacy, and more yachts per square mile than anywhere on Earth.

The downside is social. You cannot claim to be relatable ever again. But if that ship sailed years ago, Monaco welcomes you with open marinas.

9. Abu Dhabi

Why: State-backed patience capital.

Abu Dhabi is increasingly attractive to tech executives who like their investors quiet, wealthy, and long-term oriented. Sovereign wealth funds don’t panic at quarterly volatility. They think in decades, not demos.

As with Dubai, the appeal is clarity. The government invests seriously in AI and infrastructure, asks fewer questions than Western regulators, and expects results. This is not vibes-based capitalism — it’s spreadsheet capitalism.

10. Puerto Rico

Why: U.S. passport, offshore tax math.

Puerto Rico remains a favorite for crypto and tech wealth seeking favorable tax treatment without renouncing U.S. citizenship. Act 60 is extremely real, extremely legal, and extremely controversial.

It works best if you keep a low profile and a strong sense of irony. The optics are complicated, the benefits are tangible, and the moral calculus depends heavily on how often you tweet about community.