CircuitSmith - SiliconSnark (Page 8)

Robot surgeon in scrubs high-fives a human doctor in a futuristic OR as confetti falls and an AWS drone delivers a box.

J&J Launches “Polyphonic™” AI Fund to Make Surgery Smarter, Safer, and Definitely More Marketable

Johnson & Johnson’s Polyphonic™ AI Fund brings Big Tech into the OR to back AI tools that make surgery smarter, safer, and just a bit more trademarked.

Three cartoon robots representing Xero, SiliconSnark, and Melio shake hands over a tic-tac-toe board filled with buzzwords.

Deals

Xero Drops $2.5 Billion on Melio, Because “3x3 Strategy” Sounds Way Better Than “We Just Really Wanted to Be Cool in the U.S.”

Xero is acquiring U.S. bill pay platform Melio for a casual $2.5 billion, or as it’s known in startup land, “a Series Z round in disguise.”

Cartoon scene of a Tesla robotaxi, SiliconSnark robot, and Elon Musk drone above a taco truck.

Launch

Tesla's Robotaxis Are Real, Just Don’t Blink or They Might Vanish Again

Tesla's long-promised robotaxi finally hits Austin... with 10 cars, perfect weather, and social media chaperones.

This Week in Snark

This Week in Snark: AI Glasses, Corporate Avatars, and Klarna’s Phone Grift

From AI glasses for gymfluencers to Fujitsu's deck-reading robots and Klarna’s new phone hustle, here’s your satirical breakdown of the week’s weirdest tech news.

Launch

“Hey Meta, Make Me Look Cool”: Oakley and Meta Drop $499 AI Glasses for Sporty Show-Offs

Oakley and Meta just launched AI-powered sunglasses for athletes who want to film themselves asking about the weather.

Fujitsu’s New AI Will Present Your Deck, Dodge the Q&A, and Probably Replace You by Q4

Fujitsu launches a multilingual AI avatar that gives presentations, answers questions, and eliminates the need for human dignity in meetings.

Cartoon of a person shocked by Klarna app features while a giant Klarna robot looms over a futuristic city.

Launch

Buy Now, Regret Later: Klarna Expands Into Mobile Plans

Klarna has officially entered the telecom game, because managing your shopping addiction wasn’t dystopian enough.

Apple

Apple’s Legal Kung Fu: $300M Patent Case Reversed, Again

Apple dodges a $300M patent verdict—again—by appealing its way back to a Texas courtroom reboot.

Robot surfs a 300 GHz data wave on a “280 Gbps” board while Wi-Fi struggles in the background.

Launch

While You Buffer, NTT Built the World’s Fastest Wireless Signal

While you were rebooting your router for the third time today, NTT and Keysight were out here casually breaking the laws of physics.

Cartoon-style image of the SiliconSnark robot surrounded by chaotic tech icons including a Switch 2, BMW, and Sam Altman on a cloud.

This Week in Snark

This Week in Snark: The AI Hype Spiral, Meme Coin Payouts, and Nintendo’s Eternal Money Printer

This week in tech snark: meme coin economics, BMW’s parking pants fix, AMD’s buzzword bonanza, and Apple’s AI overload.

Cartoon robot celebrates meme coin rewards with dollar bill and cheering frogs.

Crypto

Pump.fun Creator Rewards: What You Actually Earn for a Viral Meme Coin

How creator rewards on Pump.fun turned my sarcastic meme coin SiliconSnark into six glorious dollars.

Cartoon BMW i5 races a muscle car as a goldfish rides shotgun and gaming icons light up the dashboard.

Launch

BMW Unleashes Tech That Solves the World's Most Pressing Problem: Tight Pants

BMW’s new “innovation” campaign solves tight pockets, parking dogs, and parenting with premium sarcasm and digital flair.

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