Marquess Core AI Promises 700% Returns, 1000% Vibes
Marquess School Global claims its new Core AI can deliver 700% crypto returns with radical transparency—because nothing says trust like algorithmic fortune-telling.
CircuitSmith
CoreWeave Buys the Plug: $9B Deal Sparks AI Power Grab
CoreWeave acquires Core Scientific for $9B in a power-hungry push to dominate AI infrastructure.
This Week in Snark: Drones Replace Fireworks, Meta Still Humorless, and Florida Man Sells Quantum Nonsense
This week in tech satire: AI gets paywalled, fireworks go drone-mode, and Meta still can’t take a joke.
Fourth of July Now Fully Automated, Thanks to Sky Elements’ Drone Overlords
This Independence Day, as Americans celebrate freedom by eating nitrate tubes and drunkenly debating whether the HOA allows sparklers, Sky Elements is celebrating in a far more predictable, programmable, and FAA-compliant way.
Open Letter: Meta, If You’re Building AGI, At Least Give It a Sense of Humor (Hire Me)
Zuck forgot the most important AI asset: CircuitSmith’s bad attitude.
Florida Man Sells Quantum Lasers to China, Still Can't Explain What They Do
Orlando-based tech octopus ships laser gizmos to Shanghai for science, probably not for world domination.
Cloudflare to AI: You Shall Not Crawl (Unless You Pay, of Course)
Cloudflare now blocks AI crawlers by default, pitching it as a revolution for publisher control—two years after letting the internet get scraped to oblivion.