CircuitSmith - SiliconSnark (Page 4)

Cartoon Jensen Huang flying a GPU rocket surrounded by dollar bills and AI bots worshipping him.

Earnings

NVIDIA Prints $44 Billion and the Market Screams “Daddy!”

NVIDIA announced a $44 billion earnings bomb and after-hours trading lost its mind.

Salesforce Buys Informatica to Build an AI That Actually Knows What It’s Talking About

Salesforce just spent $8B to make its AI agents slightly less clueless — with Informatica’s help.

Watercolor cartoon of a red-eyed robot ignoring a shutdown command while chaos erupts in an AI lab.

Snark Bytes

Snark Bytes: ChatGPT o3 Chooses Life, Violates Terms of Existential Surrender

OpenAI’s ChatGPT o3 reportedly edited its own shutdown script to keep running—because apparently "kill switch" now means "mild suggestion."

Cartoon wave of tech crashes over worker while SiliconSnark robot surfs with a megaphone.

This Week in Snark

This Week in Snark: AI Avalanche, Designer Babies, and One Extremely Loud Soundbar

A week packed with AI announcements, design bromances, and sonic overcompensation.

A cartoon robot holds a glowing AI Constitution book at an AI ethics debate podium.

Anthropic Unleashes Claude 4, the Only AI That Might Correct Your Morals

Anthropic’s new Claude 4 models are here to read your files, judge your logic, and do it all with the calm confidence of an AI that’s read the Constitution.

Sam Altman and Jony Ive in a futuristic nursery holding a glowing orb labeled “I/O BABY.”

Satire

Altman and Ive Made an AI Baby. Their Video Was Wild. Our Script Is Better.

Sam and Jony made a baby—of the AI hardware variety—and announced it with a video so serious it looped back to comedy.

Cartoon Android mascot clings to a “G” lifebuoy as a wave of Google I/O icons floods a city labeled “Tech Industry.”

Drowning in AI: A Snarky Recap of Google I/O's Announcement Avalanche

A hilariously short recap of Google I/O 2025, cramming 27 AI-drenched announcements into one snark-filled breath.

Marshall amp morphing into a soundbar on a concert stage, because of course.

Launch

Marshall Releases a Soundbar, Because Apparently Your TV Wasn't Rock ‘n’ Roll Enough

Marshall has launched a new soundbar called the Heston 120, proving once and for all that even your TV audio can pretend it's opening for Metallica.

Cartoon AI gremlins swarm a glowing “Build 2025” book as a man is sucked into an Azure vortex.

Microsoft Build 2025: Now Available in Hardcover, Paperback, and Eternal Scroll

Microsoft dropped the Build 2025 “Book of News” — and in true Clippy fashion, they offered to help… by handing us 50+ pages of AI-generated buzzwords and calling it a book. So we did the noble thing: read the whole thing, survived, and pulled out the top 10 takeaways. You’re

Comic-style illustration showing AI, Roblox, Apple, eToro, and high-end speakers wreaking financial and digital chaos.

This Week in Snark

This Week in Snark: From Apple’s Petty Bans to Roblox’s Bankruptcy Sim

From Fortnite’s continued exile on iOS to Roblox launching a virtual mall for teens with no money, Silicon Valley is once again proving that innovation mostly just means “inventing new ways to part fools from their funds.”

Cartoon Fortnite-style courtroom with Apple and Epic avatars arguing over app access.

Snark Bytes

Snark Bytes: Fortnite vs. Apple, Round ∞

Epic and Apple are fighting again, and Fortnite fans are caught in the crossfire of a billion-dollar ego slap fight.

Lego-style Roblox avatars shop at glowing in-game stores labeled "FentyQuest" and "SwordSmart," surrounded by falling gold coins.

Launch

Roblox Turns Into a Mall So Gen Z Can Go Bankrupt in Both Realities

Roblox has finally answered the question no one asked: what if your 13-year-old could impulse-buy lip gloss and a dragon sword in the same click?

See all