Today Marks One Year of SiliconSnark. This Is What Happens Next (Allegedly).

Today marks one full year of SiliconSnark — a website that started as a mildly irresponsible experiment in tech snark and somehow turned into a daily ritual for people who love startups, hate buzzwords, and suspect AI might already be running HR.

To celebrate this snarkaversary, we could have done a “Best of SiliconSnark” post. But honestly:

1. We already did that at the end of 2025, and
2. Those posts are boring.

Nobody needs another victory lap of “remember this joke?” or a greatest-hits playlist of snark. This isn’t a band going on hiatus. This is a site that thrives on forward motion, bad ideas, and the creeping sense that tech reality is accelerating faster than anyone’s ability to explain it.

So instead of looking back, we’re doing what SiliconSnark does best:
a totally unhinged, deeply unserious, suspiciously plausible look at what SiliconSnark evolves into over the next 10 years.

This is a vision of the SiliconSnark Empire in 2036, when satire evolved from commentary to infrastructure.

Phase One: SiliconSnark Stops Being a Site and Becomes a Network

By 2036, SiliconSnark is no longer “a website.” It’s a distributed snark network spanning articles, video, animation, games, AI agents, live events, and at least one product no one fully understands but everyone pretends to.

What began as tech snark evolves into the definitive historical record of the AI decade, except funnier and more accurate than most reporting. SiliconSnark becomes the place people go to understand what just happened after reading five breathless press releases that explained nothing.

Every major tech moment now gets two reactions:

1. The official announcement
2. The SiliconSnark take

Guess which one people remember.

SiliconSnark Studios: Where Sora Goes to Misbehave

At some point around 2029, it becomes clear that text alone cannot contain the madness. Enter SiliconSnark Studios, a Sora-powered animation and video arm producing daily short-form and long-form content.

Flagship programming includes:

• Daily AI News, Explained Poorly
• Founder Pitch Meetings, Reenacted
• The SiliconSnark Robot Learns About Humanity
• Exit Simulator: The Animated Series
• Tech Apologies That Didn’t Apologize

The SiliconSnark robot mascot — still yellow, still wearing pixelated sunglasses — becomes a full-fledged character with lore, enemies, and a recurring existential crisis about compute credits.

Episodes are short. Fast. Ridiculous. And somehow more informative than most earnings calls.

The SiliconSnark News Network (SSNN): Tech Coverage Without the Sponsored Vibes

By 2031, SiliconSnark accidentally becomes one of the most trusted sources for tech coverage. Not because it’s neutral — but because it’s honest.

Thus launches SiliconSnark News Network (SSNN), offering:

• Breaking news with immediate satire context
• Deep dives on AI, crypto, startups, and platforms
• Headlines that translate “founder optimism” into English
• Coverage of products that don’t exist yet but are somehow already raising

SSNN becomes the first outlet to consistently publish:

• “What This Announcement Actually Means”
• “What They Didn’t Say”
• “Why This Will Be Rebranded in 18 Months”

Google News eventually caves. Journalism professors quietly assign SiliconSnark articles in ethics classes.

SiliconSnarkCon: The Tech Conference That Accidentally Works

Every industry eventually needs a conference. SiliconSnark’s version is SiliconSnarkCon, the only tech event people don’t dread.

There are:

• No buzzword bingo cards (they’re unnecessary)
• Live pitch roasts
• AI model debates
• Founder therapy booths
• “Demo Fails” reenactments
• A strict “No Announcing Vaporware” policy

The keynote is delivered every year by the SiliconSnark robot, now physically embodied and legally classified as “a complicated situation.”

The awards ceremony honors categories like:

• Most Overhyped Product
• Best Rebrand That Changed Nothing
• Most Confusing AI Claim
• Startup Most Likely to Pivot Three Times
• Best Founder Apology Video

Attendance sells out in minutes.

SiliconSnark Ventures: Investing, But With Jokes in the Term Sheet

By the early 2034s, SiliconSnark launches Snark Capital, a venture fund investing in founders who can survive public roasting.

Investment criteria includes:

• A functional product
• A sense of humor
• A willingness to explain what you’re actually building
• Agreement to be roasted once per year

Ironically, Snark Capital becomes known for unusually accurate bets. Turns out founders who can laugh at themselves also build better companies.

Games, Merch, and the Inevitable Licensing Explosion

By 2036, Exit Simulator is one of the most downloaded indie games of the decade. Players experience:

• Fundraising loops
• Product pivots
• Burn rate anxiety
• Unexpected acquisitions
• “Congratulations, you’re now middle management” endings

Meanwhile, the SiliconSnark robot appears everywhere:

• Apparel
• Stickers
• Cameos
• Licensing deals
• Guest appearances in other creators’ content

There are rumors of a children’s book sequel. No one confirms or denies it.

Happy Snarkaversary

So yes — today marks one year of SiliconSnark.

To celebrate, instead of looking back, we’re doing what the tech industry does best:
looking wildly ahead with unearned confidence.

Will all of this happen? Probably not. Will some of it happen? It's possible!

Either way, thanks for reading, laughing, sharing, and proving that the internet still has room for satire — especially when reality keeps trying to outdo it.

Here’s to year two. And to the empire, allegedly. 🥂🤖

P.S. If you enjoy the snark, feel free to buy me a few thousand "coffees."