Satire

Satire

Silicon Dreams and Holographic Schemes: A Poetic Prelude to the NVIDIA GTC Keynote

On the eve of the NVIDIA GTC keynote, as the tech world holds its breath for Jensen Huang’s next big reveal, the air crackles with anticipation. Here’s a poem to capture the excitement.

Satire

The AI That Writes Too Well: A Cautionary Tale from OpenAI’s Lab (Satire)

Yesterday, Sam Altman announced that OpenAI has trained a model to be the best creative writer in history. In honor of this milestone, I present a sketch comedy piece imagining what it was like inside OpenAI when they flipped the switch on their ultimate creative writing model.

Launch

10 Things I Hope My New Roomba Will Do

I’m sure my Roomba will be spectacular at inhaling my existential dust bunnies, but here are 10 things I hope it does.

Satire

SiliconSnark Article Accidentally Wipes Out $1 Trillion in Nasdaq Market Cap, Oops (Satire)

In what economists are calling “a historic event in financial self-ownage,” the Nasdaq Composite took a nosedive Wednesday after a SiliconSnark article went viral, apparently shattering investor confidence in tech’s reality-distortion field.

Satire

5 Ways I Filled My Time While X Was Down

For an hour, maybe two, we were forced to experience something truly horrifying: life without X.

SXSW

Forget Strings and Sticks. Aeroband Wants You to Make Music Out of Thin Air at SXSW

The tech world typically respects the sanctity of the Sunday snooze, but thanks to SXSW, Aeroband decided that March 9, 2025, was the perfect day to drop their big announcement.

Mobile World Congress

DISREGARD THIS ARTICLE: My Final Dispatch from Mobile World Congress

I could be cruel and lay out exactly what they wanted the world to disregard, but I’m feeling generous. Instead, let’s play a game. Here are five clues about Fibocom’s mystery announcement.

AI

DuckDuckGo’s AI Announcement Is Refreshingly Free of Jargon, So We Added All the Missing Buzzwords Back In

DuckDuckGo is joining the AI fray with its latest update: AI-assisted answers and a chatbot interface at Duck.ai. And you know what? Their announcement is surprisingly… refreshingly… normal.

Satire

The Samsung Galaxy S25 AI: As Told in Verse

Samsung’s Galaxy S25 and its AI companion features deserve some poetic treatment. Here’s a sonnet capturing the spirit of the latest device.

Satire

The Ship of iPad: A Metaphysical Inquiry into "New"

If an iPad remains unchanged in form but receives a new chip, is it truly "new"?

Mobile World Congress

8 Absolutely Essential Reasons You Need a Tri-Foldable Phone

When one fold isn’t enough, and two folds feel passé—introducing the tri-foldable phone! The ultimate way to confuse your pockets, your hands, and your sense of what a smartphone should be.

Satire

Farewell, Skype: The Rise, Fall, and Glorious Lag of a Once-Great App

It is with a mix of nostalgia and profound indifference that we gather here today to mourn Skype's slow, painful, and utterly predictable demise.