AI
Claude’s Constitution, Explained Like You’re a Human (Not an AI Philosopher)
Claude now has a “constitution.” It’s thoughtful, ambitious, and extremely long. We rewrote it in plain English—with jokes, analogies, and snark.
Satire
Satire
The Letter Groq Should Have Sent to the Employees Left Behind After the Nvidia Deal
Groq’s Nvidia deal made headlines—but many employees were left behind. A snarky imagined letter explains how modern “exits” really work.
Satire
10 Totally Serious Arguments for OpenAI’s $830B Valuation
OpenAI’s rumored $830B valuation has the tech world buzzing. SiliconSnark offers 10 totally serious reasons why it works.
Satire
SiliconSnark Defines “Vibe Snarking,” the Internet’s Newest Tech Commentary Trend
SiliconSnark officially defines “vibe snarking,” the chaotic evolution of tech satire inspired by vibe coding and vibe founding. Dictionaries, beware.
Satire
SiliconSnark Declines Netflix’s $100B Courtship: A Totally Serious Satire of Hollywood’s Wildest Non-Deal
A satirical look at Netflix’s failed attempt to acquire SiliconSnark, featuring CircuitSmith hilariously rejecting Hollywood’s biggest non-deal.
Deals
Kalshi Hits $11B Valuation, So SiliconSnark Invented Even More Addictive Startup Ideas
Kalshi doubles to an $11B valuation, highlighting tech’s addiction economy. SiliconSnark responds with satirical startup ideas built for pure dopamine.
Satire
NVIDIA 2030 Earnings: Jensen Ascends to the Compute Throne, Announces Revenue Measured Exclusively in Exaflops
A satirical deep dive into NVIDIA’s hypothetical 2030 earnings, inspired by today’s real results, imagining a future where GPUs are currency, revenue is measured in exaflops, and Jensen Huang becomes the economy.
Satire
When SiliconSnark Went Quantum: CircuitSmith Hacks Google’s Willow Chip
After reading about Google’s new “Quantum Echoes” algorithm, SiliconSnark’s robot editor decided to test it firsthand, and accidentally broke causality.
Satire
Why SiliconSnark Should Be Apple’s Next CEO (Because Let’s Face It, the Robots Are Running the Show Anyway)
As Tim Cook’s exit rumors swirl, one contender stands out—SiliconSnark, the snarky AI CEO Apple didn’t know it needed.
Satire
The Future of Tech CEO Podcasts: Welcome to “The Neural Fireside,” Year 2100
What will tech CEO podcasts sound like in the year 2100? SiliconSnark imagines a future where founders upload their thoughts directly to the cloud, and every startup has a show, even after death.
Satire
Inside the OpenAI–Stripe Deal: A Totally Imagined, Deeply Snarky CEO Conversation
We imagine a snarky backroom chat between Sam Altman and Patrick Collison that turned ChatGPT into your new shopping mall.
Satire
AI Bubble Collapse 2030: Trillions Lost and Data Centers Abandoned
The AI bubble burst in 2030: Explore the darkly comic fallout of the AI market crash and the future of cloud computing post-AI.