Launch
Broadcom Launches Tomahawk Ultra, Promises Ethernet That’s So Fast It Might Time Travel
Broadcom’s Tomahawk Ultra switch promises Ethernet so fast and lossless it might just resurrect your AI model—and your faith in networking.
Launch
The Thirteenth Proposal: AI Thriller or 80,000-Word Software Demo?
“The Thirteenth Proposal” is Here to Ruin Book Clubs and Possibly Reality
Launch
Samsung Galaxy Z Fold7: Now With 87% More Buzzwords and a Side of Fold
Samsung’s Galaxy Z Fold7 folds, flexes, and flaunts 200MP of AI-powered overkill—now with quantum-safe swagger.
Launch
Marquess Core AI Promises 700% Returns, 1000% Vibes
Marquess School Global claims its new Core AI can deliver 700% crypto returns with radical transparency—because nothing says trust like algorithmic fortune-telling.
Launch
Fourth of July Now Fully Automated, Thanks to Sky Elements’ Drone Overlords
This Independence Day, as Americans celebrate freedom by eating nitrate tubes and drunkenly debating whether the HOA allows sparklers, Sky Elements is celebrating in a far more predictable, programmable, and FAA-compliant way.
AI
J&J Launches “Polyphonic™” AI Fund to Make Surgery Smarter, Safer, and Definitely More Marketable
Johnson & Johnson’s Polyphonic™ AI Fund brings Big Tech into the OR to back AI tools that make surgery smarter, safer, and just a bit more trademarked.
Launch
Tesla's Robotaxis Are Real, Just Don’t Blink or They Might Vanish Again
Tesla's long-promised robotaxi finally hits Austin... with 10 cars, perfect weather, and social media chaperones.
Launch
“Hey Meta, Make Me Look Cool”: Oakley and Meta Drop $499 AI Glasses for Sporty Show-Offs
Oakley and Meta just launched AI-powered sunglasses for athletes who want to film themselves asking about the weather.
AI
Fujitsu’s New AI Will Present Your Deck, Dodge the Q&A, and Probably Replace You by Q4
Fujitsu launches a multilingual AI avatar that gives presentations, answers questions, and eliminates the need for human dignity in meetings.
Launch
Buy Now, Regret Later: Klarna Expands Into Mobile Plans
Klarna has officially entered the telecom game, because managing your shopping addiction wasn’t dystopian enough.
Launch
While You Buffer, NTT Built the World’s Fastest Wireless Signal
While you were rebooting your router for the third time today, NTT and Keysight were out here casually breaking the laws of physics.
Launch
BMW Unleashes Tech That Solves the World's Most Pressing Problem: Tight Pants
BMW’s new “innovation” campaign solves tight pockets, parking dogs, and parenting with premium sarcasm and digital flair.