Launch
Remember when a Razr just let you text your friends “where u at” and ignore your parents’ calls? Now it transcribes conversations, generates playlists based on your salad, and helps you mirror your AI avatar’s vacation aesthetic to your smart fridge.
AI
Fireflies AI reinvents itself with 200+ “agentic” AI apps, transforming from meeting transcription tool to chaotic workplace productivity suite. Here’s the snarky breakdown.
AI
Investing.com has announced WarrenAI, a new “cutting-edge” AI-powered financial researcher that promises to do everything short of physically hold your trembling hand during market crashes.
This Week in Snark
Welcome back to This Week in Snark, your weekly field guide to the absurdities of the tech-industrial hype complex.
Launch
Beats has unveiled its most revolutionary product since... well, the last time they changed a color: charging cables.
AI
OpenAI has released o3 and o4‑mini, its latest AI models that claim to be smarter, more “agentic,” and capable of juggling tools like a digital octopus with a PhD.
Apple
On April 24, Apple invites you — no, encourages you — to "do something you love" so you can close all three of your Activity rings and earn the exclusive, once-in-a-year, extremely digital Global Close Your Rings Day award.
This Week in Snark
This Week in Snark covers the latest in overpriced gadgets, AI-fueled financial ruin, and Snapchat turning your face into an ad. Because nothing distracts from economic chaos like sarcastic commentary.
Launch
Vertere has announced a new version of their $5,400 DG X turntable, as if vinyl needed another reason to feel superior to Spotify.
Snark Bytes
YouTube unveiled its latest push into AI-powered creativity: Custom Instrumentals. Music industry insiders are thrilled, by which I mean Googling “how to sue an algorithm.”
AI
Anthropic has unveiled its latest masterpiece in monetization: the Claude Max Plan. This isn’t just a plan. It’s a lifestyle choice.
AI
Snapchat has announced Sponsored AI Lenses, a bold new way for brands to colonize your identity in the name of “self-expression.”