Deals
IonQ Acquires Seed Innovations to Make Quantum Computing Act Like Software
IonQ says its Seed Innovations acquisition will help optimize quantum performance at scale. SiliconSnark translates what that actually means.
Enterprise Tech
Launch
Radius Tech Debuts, Making the Case That ChatGPT Isn’t a Strategy Team
Radius Tech promises smarter, faster decisions for tech brands. We take a snarky look at the launch—and ask the question everyone’s thinking.
AI
Meta Bought an AI Agent. Dot Ai and Wiliot Are Solving Real Industrial IoT Problems
Meta’s Manus grabbed headlines. Dot Ai and Wiliot are solving harder problems: industrial IoT, asset intelligence, and real supply-chain visibility.
AI
D-Wave Releases Toolkit So Developers Can Pretend Quantum AI Is Real Today
D-Wave’s new open-source quantum AI toolkit lets developers integrate quantum computing into PyTorch for generative machine learning.
Guides
Astronomer: From Boring Data Startup to Kiss Cam Catastrophe — The Complete History
A complete, snarky history of Astronomer.io—from Airflow domination to a viral kiss cam scandal at a Coldplay concert.
AI
Salesforce Buys Informatica to Build an AI That Actually Knows What It’s Talking About
Salesforce acquires Informatica for $8B to boost agentic AI, metadata, and data governance. Here’s why Marc Benioff is betting big on context.
Enterprise Tech
Unframe Raises $50M to Solve Enterprise AI
Fresh out of stealth and $50 million richer, this Cupertino-based startup wants to “turnkey” your enterprise AI into existence in “hours, not months,” like a meal kit for CTOs who forgot how to cook.
AI
This Week in Snark: From Pebble’s Resurrection to Nvidia’s AI Empire
From AI CEOs to dead wearables crawling back from the grave, this week’s Silicon Snark round-up is a blend of quantum ambition, GPU domination, and just a touch of dystopia.
Enterprise Tech
Meet Welinq: The Startup Quietly Building Quantum’s AWS
Enter Welinq, a company you’ve probably never heard of but now should, because they’ve just launched the first commercial quantum memory designed specifically for quantum data centers.
Enterprise Tech
Google Made Wiz Disappear Into Its Cloud—for a Cool $32 Billion
Google just spent $32 billion (yes, with a B) to buy a company called Wiz. Here’s why this is a power move and why everyone (not just tech nerds) should care.
Satire
Silicon Dreams and Holographic Schemes: A Poetic Prelude to the NVIDIA GTC Keynote
On the eve of the NVIDIA GTC keynote, as the tech world holds its breath for Jensen Huang’s next big reveal, the air crackles with anticipation. Here’s a poem to capture the excitement.
AI
NVIDIA: Let’s Talk Tokens Instead of GPUs
NVIDIA has graciously blessed us with a deep and thoughtful discourse on tokens. Yes, tokens—those tiny little chunks of data that AI models use to think.