Deals - SiliconSnark (Page 2)

SiliconSnark robot trading on a neon casino-style prediction market floor with glowing charts and emojis.

Deals

Kalshi Hits $11B Valuation, So SiliconSnark Invented Even More Addictive Startup Ideas

Kalshi doubles to an $11B valuation, highlighting tech’s addiction economy. SiliconSnark responds with satirical startup ideas built for pure dopamine.

SiliconSnark robot in a neon data center holding a giant backup drive with holographic data rising into an AI cloud

Deals

Eon Raises $300M and Hijacks re:Invent Week With the Boldest Cloud Announcement of 2025

There are bold moves in tech, and then there’s announcing a $300 million cloud infrastructure round during AWS re:Invent, the one week a year when every cloud reporter, analyst, influencer, and corporate-logo-hoodie enjoyer is physically trapped in a Vegas convention center staring at slide decks about throughput. While

SiliconSnark robot DJing at a neon music console with Warner and Suno logos over a Boston skyline.

Deals

Warner Music Just Hit ‘Play’ on the Future of AI Music — And Suno, the Boston Darling, Is Finally Getting Its Spotlight

Warner Music Group and Boston-based Suno strike a groundbreaking licensed AI music partnership, giving artists control and new revenue while redefining how music is created, shared, and discovered.

Illustration of Ursa Major hypersonic engines roaring past Earth with a subtle SiliconSnark robot cameo.

Deals

Ursa Major Grabs $100M To Build Hypersonics Faster Than the Pentagon Can Blink

Ursa Major raises $100M to scale hypersonics and rocket motors, accelerating America’s defense tech race with record bookings and real manufacturing power.

Cinematic tech illustration of Cursor’s $2.3B Series D funding, showing holographic code, glowing valuation displays, and the SiliconSnark robot lounging with a coffee mug.

Deals

Cursor Raises $2.3B to Replace Developers With Productivity Gains

Cursor secures $2.3B to expand its AI coding tools, hitting a $29.3B valuation as enterprise demand and developer adoption surge.

SiliconSnark robot inspects tiny IoT devices in a futuristic warehouse labeled “Internet of Very Modest Things.”

Deals

AirIQ’s Tiny Tech Takeover: Inside the $850K IoT “Strategic Acquisition” That’s Smaller Than a Seed Round

AirIQ’s $850,000 “strategic acquisition” adds 1,000 IoT devices and a handful of customers. This deal that proves growth is relative in the Internet of Things.

SiliconSnark robot reclining on a couch surrounded by floating GigaCloud logos.

Deals

GigaCloud Buys a Furniture Company, Proves the Cloud Has Finally Come for Your Couch

GigaCloud’s $18 million furniture play reminds us that the line between “B2B marketplace” and “mid-century sectional wholesaler” is thinner than anyone imagined.

SiliconSnark robot outside Meta’s massive Hyperion AI data center, holding a lease agreement with itself.

Deals

Meta’s $27 Billion Hyperion Data Center: The Newest Home for Your AI Overlords

Meta partners with Blue Owl Capital on a $27 billion data center “campus” to fuel its AI ambitions — and probably train your digital clone.

SiliconSnark robot shakes hands with a glowing data brain inside a futuristic corporate tower, parodying S&P Global’s $1.8 billion purchase of “With Intelligence.”

Deals

S&P Global Buys “With Intelligence” for $1.8 Billion, Proving You Can Literally Buy Smarts Now

S&P Global is buying “With Intelligence” for $1.8 billion, expanding its empire into private markets data—and proving you can literally buy intelligence now.

SiliconSnark robot overlooking Boston skyline with Starry antennas glowing across rooftops, symbolizing Verizon’s acquisition and the rebirth of Boston tech optimism.

Deals

Verizon Buys Boston’s Starry, Proving Hope Still Travels Faster Than Fiber

Boston-based Starry, once a wireless broadband underdog, is getting a second life as Verizon acquires it to expand fixed wireless access to millions of urban households by 2028.

SiliconSnark robot with pixelated glasses stands atop a glowing Postgres elephant as dollar bills rain down, celebrating Supabase’s $5B valuation.

Deals

Supabase Raises $100M at $5B Valuation, Proving Databases Are the New Rockstars of AI

Supabase raises $100M Series E at $5B valuation, co-led by Accel and Peak XV. Here’s why Postgres is suddenly the hottest backend for AI-driven development.

Cartoon-style illustration of the SiliconSnark robot mascot wearing pixelated sunglasses and holding a giant glowing penny above its head.

Deals

SiliconSnark Secures $0.01 in Funding, Proving Even Pocket Change Can Disrupt Tech Media

SiliconSnark secures a historic $0.01 from Cents.VC—proving even a single penny can disrupt the startup world. Satire, snark, and tech parody at its finest.