AI - SiliconSnark (Page 5)

The SiliconSnark robot reviews a glowing decision tree as a bewildered intern watches in awe, holding a coffee labeled “Fake It ‘Til You Make It.”

NTT Builds AI That Maps Expert Decisions So Interns Can Pretend They Know What They’re Doing

Finally, NTT has launched a flowchart to help you sound smart in meetings without actually being smart.

A bold, slightly surreal illustration of Tim Cook mid-air in a basketball arena.

Earnings

Tim Cook Just Dunked on Every "Apple Is Doomed" Thinkpiece

Apple posted $94 billion in revenue this quarter. The joke's not just on the haters — it's on all of us for forgetting that Apple prints cash like it’s the U.S. Treasury with better branding.

Zuckerberg faces off against the SiliconSnark robot in a chaotic arena of AI absurdity.

Zuckerberg's "Personal Superintelligence" Post, Roasted to a Carbonized Crisp

Zuckerberg’s latest AI manifesto on Personal Superintelligence was too absurd to ignore.

A cartoon retail employee tearfully whispering “Why does everyone return the blazer?” to a glowing chatbot.

You Could Fix Your Sizing Chart, or You Could Build NaizGPT

NaizGPT promises to replace retail dashboards with AI-powered chats—but can a chatbot really explain why your blazers keep coming back?

A robot in a blazer shaking hands with a city hall employee over a stack of onboarding forms, while a giant screen in the background reads: “Now 23% More Compliant!”

Deals

Bureaucracy, But Make It Cloud-Native: EQT and CPP Acquire NEOGOV

EQT and CPP Investments acquire public-sector SaaS firm NEOGOV to modernize HR compliance—with all the excitement of a digital W-4.

A chaotic tech expo scene featuring TSA scans, AI buzzwords, streaming kiosks, and the SiliconSnark robot in a “Chief Mockery Officer” booth.

This Week in Snark

This Week in Snark: TSA Scans, StreamStore Schemes, and Silicon-Powered Egos

Skewering TSA’s AI dreams, OpenAI’s power-hungry Stargate, Xfinity’s StreamStore mess, and more absurd 2025 headlines.

A futuristic airport checkpoint staffed by humanoid robots, with a TSA alert screen showing the SiliconSnark robot mascot warning passengers to remove neural implants.

TSA Seeks AI Security Upgrades to Make Checkpoints "Faster and Friendlier" (Sure, Jan)

TSA explores AI-powered airport security with cloud-connected robots and threat detection tech in latest push for automated screening.

Cartoon image of a power-hungry OpenAI portal draining the grid as a SiliconSnark robot cheers on with a "Democratizing Intelligence!" flag.

OpenAI Stargate Expansion to Consume Power Equivalent of Four Tech Thought Leaders' Egos

OpenAI’s massive Stargate expansion sparks controversy over energy use as it partners with Oracle to build a 4.5GW AI data center.

A futuristic Robotaxi glides through a neon-lit city as the SiliconSnark robot rides shotgun, grinning and holding a yellow manual titled "How Not to Die in L4 Autonomy." Ask ChatGPT

Launch

Autonomous Vehicles Get Buff as WeRide Injects Them with Dual-Thor Power

WeRide just launched its HPC 3.0 platform—a dual-NVIDIA Thor chip-powered brain for Robotaxis that cuts costs by 84%, runs 2,000 TOPS of compute, and meets more certifications than a pilot’s license.

SiliconSnark robot peeks into a startup boardroom at sunset, holding a notepad that reads "Just here to watch the drama." Ask ChatGPT

This Week in Snark

This Week in Snark: From Kiss Cam Collapses to Color-Picking Clouds

A snark-filled roundup of the week's wildest tech news, featuring Astronomer’s scandal, AI paint picks, spider silk deals, Ethernet hype, and more.

Pastel startup fantasy scene with floating UI elements, $1.8B valuation, and a tiny robot sipping coffee in the corner.

Lovable Raises More Money to Vibe Even Harder

Lovable Raises $200M to Become Europe’s First Vibe Coding Unicorn

Behr Paint and Google Cloud Use AI to Solve the Greatest Crisis of Our Time: Picking a Color

Behr and Google Cloud form an AI partnership that addresses the existential dread of choosing between "Eggshell Whisper" and "Mist of Fog 7"

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