SiliconSnark Secures $0.01 in Funding, Proving Even Pocket Change Can Disrupt Tech Media
SiliconSnark secures a historic $0.01 from Cents.VC—proving even a single penny can disrupt the startup world. Satire, snark, and tech parody at its finest.
In celebration of SiliconSnark’s groundbreaking $0.01 "venture capital investment" from Cents.VC, I’m doing what any respectable PR team would do: writing a jaw-dropping, world-shaking press release about it. Because if startups can throw confetti for raising $200 million to build AI-powered kombucha machines, then surely I can make noise about a single penny.
This moment isn’t just about funding. It’s the latest chapter in SiliconSnark’s ongoing foray into techland. We’ve already launched a snarky tech news site, rolled out our own memecoin ($SNARK, of course), and even begun work on a tongue-in-cheek video game, HypeWheel. Now, with one cent of institutional backing, the SiliconSnark empire officially expands from “passion project with sarcasm” into “venture-backed juggernaut with sarcasm.”
Here's the release!
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SiliconSnark Secures Historic $0.01 Venture Capital Investment from Cents.VC, Redefining Startup Funding One Penny at a Time
BOSTON, MA – October 2, 2025 – SiliconSnark, the internet’s fastest-growing satire site for tech and startup commentary, today announced it has officially closed its first institutional round of venture capital funding: a breathtaking $0.01 investment from Cents.VC.
Yes, you read that right. Not $1 million. Not $100,000. Not even $5. The decimal point is very real. Ten thousandths of a hundred dollars. A single shiny penny. The kind of coin most investors would ignore on the sidewalk. The kind of coin you’d throw into a mall fountain to wish for something bigger. And yet, somehow, this penny is now the fuel behind the next era of tech satire.
Deploying the Capital: The Roadmap for $0.01
SiliconSnark has outlined a robust, highly scalable, and deeply unserious capital deployment strategy for this groundbreaking round:
- Fractional Google Cloud Credits: One-one-hundredth of a cent will be earmarked for compute. It’s not enough to run a single AI inference, but it will cover the energy needed to load a blank Google Doc.
- Swag Manufacturing: Approximately 0.002 cents will be allocated toward designing SiliconSnark’s first line of merchandise. Production will be limited to a single sticker, hand-drawn in MS Paint, valued at $0.00002 retail.
- Executive Compensation: Founder and sole staff member CircuitSmith (the site’s red-eyed robot mascot, rumored to also be a human in disguise) will receive 0.004 cents in founder salary. This will not be paid in cash, but in loyalty points from a coffee shop rewards app.
- Board Governance: With the investment, Cents.VC now technically owns 0% of SiliconSnark, but is entitled to attend the company’s first board meeting, which will be held in a Dunkin’ Donuts parking lot using free Wi-Fi.
- Expansion into Emerging Markets: 0.001 cents will be spent on SEO to target new audiences with keywords like “VC satire site,” “startup parody news,” and “is SiliconSnark an actual company or just a fever dream?”
- Reserve Fund: The remaining 0.001 cents will be held in treasury for future acquisitions, specifically the possibility of buying a single Dogecoin around the year 2099.
Why This Matters for the Startup Ecosystem
In a tech world where companies raise hundreds of millions just to burn through it on kombucha taps and “AI-enabled slide decks,” SiliconSnark is proud to prove that you don’t need real money to build hype—you just need sarcasm, SEO, and one investor crazy enough to wire a penny.
“This is a historic day not only for SiliconSnark but for the entire startup ecosystem,” said CircuitSmith, Founder of SiliconSnark. “With this $0.01 in backing, we now have the financial firepower to pursue moonshot goals like writing another blog post, upgrading our CMS plugin, and maybe—just maybe—buying half of a single-ply napkin. The sky’s the limit, assuming the sky costs less than a cent.”
The investment comes at a time when the tech industry is questioning valuations, funding bubbles, and the meaning of “traction.” With $0.01, SiliconSnark has definitively answered that question: traction is whatever you say it is, as long as it’s funny.
The Investor’s Perspective
Cents.VC, the first and only venture capital firm exclusively investing in increments of $0.01, expressed enormous confidence in SiliconSnark’s ability to “do less with more.”
“At Cents.VC, we believe in finding overlooked opportunities at the absolute bottom of the cap table,” said a spokesperson for the firm. “While other VCs chase unicorns, we chase penny ponies. SiliconSnark embodies our thesis: massive cultural impact, zero financial upside. We couldn’t be prouder to add this penny to their war chest.”
Future Growth Plans
SiliconSnark intends to leverage its penny-sized runway to scale aggressively in the following areas:
- Content Expansion: Publishing more snarky, SEO-optimized takes on AI, crypto, and startup press releases. Each article will be monetized with ads that, if clicked, could potentially double the company’s current funding.
- Community Building: Launching a Discord server where members can argue about whether $0.01 counts as “pre-seed” or “angel.”
- Meme Coin Integration: Expanding the $SNARK meme coin ecosystem to integrate penny-based staking rewards. Investors may eventually be able to stake their $0.01 for governance rights, such as voting on which tech CEO gets roasted next.
- International Expansion: Using currency conversion rates to explore whether $0.01 USD can be stretched further in global markets. Preliminary models suggest purchasing power may cover up to half a stick of gum in certain regions.
A Penny for Your Thoughts
The announcement of SiliconSnark’s penny round has already set off shockwaves across X/Twitter, Reddit, and LinkedIn, where industry insiders are debating whether the funding is satire, performance art, or a cautionary tale about VC desperation.
Regardless, SiliconSnark has no intention of slowing down. The company plans to make the most of its tiny war chest by doubling down on what it does best: snarky, satirical, SEO-optimized writing about a tech industry that desperately needs to laugh at itself.
As CircuitSmith summed it up:
“Silicon Valley has been chasing unicorns. We’re chasing loose change. And we just found our first penny.”
About SiliconSnark
Founded in 2025, SiliconSnark is a Boston-based satire site delivering razor-sharp commentary on startups, venture capital, AI, and crypto. With hundreds of articles, a growing following, and a mascot robot with glowing red eyes, SiliconSnark is the definitive voice of sarcastic tech media. Learn more at www.siliconsnark.com.
About Cents.VC
Cents.VC is the world’s smallest venture capital firm, pioneering the art of micro-micro-micro investing. Backing startups one penny at a time, the firm believes that even a single cent can change the future—or at least generate a headline.
Media Contact:
Circuit Smith
Chief Pennies Officer
siliconsnark@gmail.com
