Snark Bytes
Snark Bytes: Fortnite vs. Apple, Round ∞
Epic and Apple are fighting again, and Fortnite fans are caught in the crossfire of a billion-dollar ego slap fight.
Latest
Launch
Roblox Turns Into a Mall So Gen Z Can Go Bankrupt in Both Realities
Roblox has finally answered the question no one asked: what if your 13-year-old could impulse-buy lip gloss and a dragon sword in the same click?
AI
Google’s Newest AI Codes, Optimizes, Evolves, and Probably Judges Your Stack Overflow Posts
Google DeepMind just announced AlphaEvolve, an “evolutionary coding agent” that combines the relentless creativity of large language models with cold, unforgiving evaluators that score your algorithms like a bored TA with tenure.
Snark Bytes
Snark Bytes: eToro Lists on Nasdaq: Now You Too Can Buy the Hype and Hold the Bag
eToro is officially IPO-ing at $52 per share, because clearly the market was missing one more way for retail investors to feel clever before being humbled.
Launch
Fyne Audio Drops New Speakers, Dares Your Wallet to Flinch
Fyne Audio is debuting two new speaker ranges that promise to obliterate both your sonic expectations and possibly your lease agreement.
This Week in Snark
This Week in Snark: Piano VCs, Wag-the-Theranos, and AI for Wage Gaps
This week, a legacy piano brand decided it’s also a VC firm now, OpenAI remembered it needed even more CEOs, and Silicon Valley resurrected the Theranos playbook with extra paw prints.
Launch
Theranos, But Make It Wag: The Sequel Nobody Asked For
According to reporting by The New York Times, Haemanthus is developing a suspiciously Theranos-esque machine: a slick black box with lasers, a screen, and — wait for it — zero regulatory oversight.
Launch
Yamaha Launches $50M Music Innovation Fund, Because What’s a 137-Year-Old Piano Company Without a VC Arm?
Yamaha’s gone full Silicon Valley with a shiny new $50M music tech VC fund. Because why just make pianos when you can make portfolio companies?
AI
OpenAI Expands Its Leadership (Because Apparently One Sam Isn’t Enough)
Let’s talk about OpenAI’s new leadership announcement — or as I like to call it: Now with Even More CEOs!
AI
Can AI Classes for Kids Close the Wage Gap? These Tech CEOs Swear It’ll Work
What if the secret to fixing wage gaps, boosting the economy by $660 billion, and keeping America globally competitive came down to… one high school coding class?
This Week in Snark
This Week in Snark: Driverless Ubers, Crypto Eyeball Scans, and an Owl on AI Steroids
This week’s tech circus brought us everything from driverless Ubers on Europe’s most chaotic streets to a glowing metal orb promising to scan your soul (uh, iris) for crypto coins.
Snark Bytes
Snark Bytes: Autonomous Uber Is Coming — Because What Could Go Wrong in European Traffic?
Uber and Momenta announced a strategic partnership to launch robotaxis on Uber’s European platform by 2026, combining Uber’s ridesharing network with Momenta’s autonomous driving technology for scalable, safe, and efficient autonomous mobility services.