Roblox Turns Into a Mall So Gen Z Can Go Bankrupt in Both Realities Roblox has finally answered the question no one asked: what if your 13-year-old could impulse-buy lip gloss and a dragon sword in the same click?
Google’s Newest AI Codes, Optimizes, Evolves, and Probably Judges Your Stack Overflow Posts Google DeepMind just announced AlphaEvolve, an “evolutionary coding agent” that combines the relentless creativity of large language models with cold, unforgiving evaluators that score your algorithms like a bored TA with tenure.
eToro Lists on Nasdaq: Now You Too Can Buy the Hype and Hold the Bag eToro is officially IPO-ing at $52 per share, because clearly the market was missing one more way for retail investors to feel clever before being humbled.
Fyne Audio Drops New Speakers, Dares Your Wallet to Flinch Fyne Audio is debuting two new speaker ranges that promise to obliterate both your sonic expectations and possibly your lease agreement.
This Week in Snark: Piano VCs, Wag-the-Theranos, and AI for Wage Gaps This week, a legacy piano brand decided it’s also a VC firm now, OpenAI remembered it needed even more CEOs, and Silicon Valley resurrected the Theranos playbook with extra paw prints.
Theranos, But Make It Wag: The Sequel Nobody Asked For According to reporting by The New York Times, Haemanthus is developing a suspiciously Theranos-esque machine: a slick black box with lasers, a screen, and — wait for it — zero regulatory oversight.
Yamaha Launches $50M Music Innovation Fund, Because What’s a 137-Year-Old Piano Company Without a VC Arm? Yamaha’s gone full Silicon Valley with a shiny new $50M music tech VC fund. Because why just make pianos when you can make portfolio companies?