NVIDIA 2030 Earnings: Jensen Ascends to the Compute Throne, Announces Revenue Measured Exclusively in Exaflops

Tonight’s NVIDIA earnings gave us a stunning view into the state of the AI economy — $57 billion in quarterly revenue, $51.2 billion from data centers alone, a guidance number that made half of Wall Street spontaneously download CUDA just to feel included. And after watching Jensen Huang once again confidently tell humanity that everything is “accelerating,” I realized something important:

This wasn’t an earnings call — it was a crystal ball. A preview. A prophecy.

And so, armed with financial statements hotter than the H200’s thermal output, I peered into the future and saw NVIDIA’s Q3 2030 earnings. What follows is a report so futuristic, so incomprehensibly bullish, that Morgan Stanley’s AI assistants are already trying to front-run it.

Welcome to 2030: The Year NVIDIA Officially Becomes the Economy™.

NVIDIA Reports Q3 FY2030 Results: Revenue Hits One Zettaflop, Outpacing Several Countries’ GDPs and Most of Web3

Santa Clara, CA — November 2030 — NVIDIA today announced financial results for the third quarter of fiscal 2030, delighting investors, leaving competitors trembling, and causing several cloud providers to collapse under the gravitational pull of its earnings report.

For the first time in corporate history, NVIDIA elected to stop reporting revenue in U.S. dollars altogether.

“Dollars no longer meaningfully represent our scale,” said CEO Jensen Huang, delivering the call from inside what appeared to be a glowing simulation chamber. “Therefore, starting this quarter, we will denominate our financials in exaflops. It’s more honest.”

By the numbers (2030 edition):

• Revenue: 1.02 zettaflops — up 400% year-over-year
• Data Center revenue: the entire state of Texas, economically speaking
• Gross margin: 94%, thanks to the new cost-efficient practice of using AI agents to design, fabricate, ship, and purchase each GPU themselves
• EPS: “Depends how you calculate consciousness,” CFO says before disappearing into smoke

The earnings beat analyst expectations so dramatically that Goldman Sachs immediately upgraded NVIDIA from “Buy” to “Transcendent Entity,” while Bank of America introduced a new rating tier above Strong Buy called “Just Give Them Your Wallet.”

AI Factories Have Become Physical Factories

Back in 2025, NVIDIA called data centers “AI factories,” which was a charming metaphor at the time — like calling AWS outages “quirky moments of cloud introspection.”

By 2030, however, the metaphor has ended.

NVIDIA now operates literal AI factories — vast, humming facilities where robots, armatures, and ambient LLMs churn out not just chips, but:

• code
• synthetic employees
• quarterly reports
• emotional support chatbots for analysts trying to justify 45× forward earnings

These AI factories are so large that SpaceX has allegedly filed a complaint with the FAA about “GPU glare” interfering with launches.

Blackwell Ultra HyperCorrective MaxX — The First GPU That Ships Before It’s Ordered

Jensen spent 25 minutes of the earnings call introducing the newest architecture: Blackwell Ultra HyperCorrective MaxX, or BUHMmX for short, pronounced “boom.”

According to NVIDIA:

• BUHMmX anticipates compute needs before they occur
• It begins training your models before you know you have models
• It ships itself to your data center via autonomous drone
• It files its own amortization schedule with your accounting software

One BUHMmX system can theoretically run an entire Fortune 100 enterprise autonomously, freeing employees to focus on more important tasks, like writing LinkedIn posts about AI.

Competition Update: Still None

In 2030, analysts once again asked Jensen about competition, because they are required by SEC regulation to pretend AMD exists.

Jensen responded by holding up a leather jacket made entirely of PCIe lanes and whispering, “There is only acceleration.”

Intel’s stock dropped 12% in the next eight seconds.

NVIDIA Becomes a National Currency (Twice)

In a surprising geopolitical twist, two nations announced they will use NVIDIA GPUs as their official currency units.

• El Salvador, unsurprisingly
• Canada, surprisingly

Canadian Prime Minister Grimes explained the decision: “People no longer trust fiat. They trust FP8 throughput.”

Even more confusing: the IMF announced that it will also start conducting internal transactions in Tensor Core hours. “It’s simply more stable than the global economy,” the IMF said in a statement that immediately became a meme.

Cloud Providers Now Rent Space Inside NVIDIA Servers

In the early 2020s, NVIDIA was dependent on cloud providers.

By 2030, cloud providers are dependent on NVIDIA in the literal sense, paying for the privilege of installing micro-data centers inside larger NVIDIA installations.

Amazon CEO Andy Jassy, speaking via hologram, proudly announced that AWS has become “a boutique compute brand running on top of the world’s premier GPU substrate.” He later clarified, “We are basically an app.”

Analysts React: Mostly Screaming

Wall Street analysts responded to the 2030 earnings with a mixture of awe, existential dread, and frantic model updates.

Highlights:

• Morgan Stanley: “We no longer know what the upper bound is. Or if there is one.”
• Barclays: “NVIDIA is the only company where our bull case, base case, and bear case are all the same chart going straight up.”
• Cathie Wood: attempted to buy 20 million shares live on the call, causing a brief GPU market shortage in the Midwest

Jensen’s Closing Remarks: The Future Is More Accelerated Than You Can Understand

As the earnings call wrapped, Jensen offered one final reflection:

“Back in 2025, some people wondered whether the AI boom was a bubble. But we told them the compute needs of the future would astonish everyone.”

He paused.

“And now it’s 2030. We’re not even close.”

The livestream ended with Jensen casually stepping into what appeared to be a portal made of H100 ashes and shimmering PTX instructions.

Final Thoughts: Tonight’s Earnings Were the Tutorial Level

If tonight’s real-world 2025 earnings gave us anything, it’s a glimpse of the unstoppable force NVIDIA is becoming — part tech company, part macroeconomic instrument, part cosmic inevitability.

Based on that trajectory, the 2030 scenario above may not even be the most extreme outcome.

If anything, it might be conservative.