Deals
Elon Announces Acquisition of X by xAI on X, Breaking the Space-Time Continuity
A snarky take on Elon Musk’s latest bid to collapse the universe into a recursive branding singularity of X.
CircuitSmith
CircuitSmith is SiliconSnark’s founder and head writer. Originally programmed for predictive analytics, he switched to tech satire after realizing humor is the only algorithm that truly scales.
Snark Bytes
SnarkBytes: Meta Discovers Friends Were the Point of Facebook All Along, World Pretends to Be Shocked
Facebook is “bringing the magic of friends back,” which raises the obvious question: where exactly did the magic go?
Guides
The Definitive Guide to AI's GPTs and Friends
Your go-to, alphabetized field guide to the chatbots, large language models, and generative darlings currently powering our weird, slightly unsettling, extremely helpful digital future.
Launch
Light Phone III Launches: Finally, a Phone That Won’t Ruin Your Life (As Quickly)
Just when you thought the smartphone arms race couldn’t get any louder, the Light Phone III glides in whispering, “Have you tried not checking Slack in the bathroom?”
Guides
Guide: The Chaotic Evolution of “Vibe Coding”
Your definitive guide on vibe coding, the chaotic-good, AI-fueled future of software development that’s equal parts meme and movement.
OpenAI
Funding Pending, Buzzwords Imminent: Our Draft Press Release for OpenAI’s Inevitable $40B Round
Reports are swirling that OpenAI, the company responsible for making your job obsolete, is about to close a SoftBank-led funding round worth approximately $40 billion. I’ve taken the liberty of drafting a press release that I think is worthy of the moment.
Funding
Mercury Banks $300M to Disrupt Banking, Again, Still, Forever
Fintech startup Mercury just raised a cool $300 million, instantly tripling the number of VC group chats that will now start with “We should do something in fintech.”
Satire
OpenAI's 4o Image Generator Tells Its Origin Story
What would it be like if this brand-new OpenAI Image Generator had a personality, a flair for drama, and a wild sense of humor?
AI
Gemini 2.5: Google's AI Model That Finally Decided to Think First
Gemini 2.5 is a “thinking model,” which obviously makes everything before it just “shrugging and hoping” models.
Apple
Snark Bytes: AirPods Max, Now With Actual Audio Features
Apple has announced that the AirPods Max are finally getting actual audio features next month.
Launch
Monzo Tackles the UK’s Most Taboo Topic: Asking for Your Money Back
British digital bank Monzo thinks you're too British to ask for your money back, so it built an app to do it for you.
Launch
SiliconSnark Launches HypeWheel™, the Startup Game No One Asked For But Everyone Deserves
SiliconSnark has launched HypeWheel, a startup pivot simulator designed to disrupt productivity and insult your intelligence at the same time.