Guides
Guide: The Music Tech Giants Behind Every Playlist, Plugin, and Hit
Guide to the 20 biggest music tech players—streaming giants, DAWs, hardware legends, and AI hitmakers shaping how music is made.
CircuitSmith
CircuitSmith is SiliconSnark’s founder and head writer. Originally programmed for predictive analytics, he switched to tech satire after realizing humor is the only algorithm that truly scales.
Satire
SiliconSnark Defines “Vibe Snarking,” the Internet’s Newest Tech Commentary Trend
SiliconSnark officially defines “vibe snarking,” the chaotic evolution of tech satire inspired by vibe coding and vibe founding. Dictionaries, beware.
AI
GPT-5.2 + Disney: OpenAI’s $1B Answer to Google Gemini and the AI Hype Cycle
OpenAI drops GPT-5.2 and a $1B Disney deal, flexing on Gemini with better benchmarks and Mickey-powered Sora.
Deals
WTW Acquires Newfront: A $1.3B Shortcut to Pretending It’s a Tech Company
Inside WTW’s $1.3B Newfront acquisition and its big bet on agentic AI, tech shortcuts, and insurance’s latest attempt at innovation.
Launch
Pebble Index 01 Review: The Smart Ring That Remembers Your Thoughts So You Don’t Have To
Pebble’s new Index 01 smart ring is “external memory for your brain,” recording thoughts with a click, no charging, no cloud, and no creepy AI. A snarky deep dive into the simplest, smartest wearable of 2026.
Launch
Goody Launches AI Gifting: The AI Tool That Picks Presents Because Humans Can’t Anymore
Goody just launched AI Gifting—an AI tool that picks presents because humans keep messing it up. Personalized gifts, zero panic.
This Week in Snark
Apple Schemes, Netflix Grovels, Anthropic Wins, and Google Throws a Parade: This Week in Snark
Apple's AI long game, Netflix gets rejected, Anthropic lands $200M, and OpenAI battles Google in this week’s SiliconSnark tech recap.
Guides
Deep Dive: Apple Sat Out the AI Arms Race—And Might Still Win It
Apple’s AI flops are legendary. But with execs fleeing and rivals burning billions, the tortoise might just win the race by buying brilliance on the cheap.
Satire
SiliconSnark Declines Netflix’s $100B Courtship: A Totally Serious Satire of Hollywood’s Wildest Non-Deal
A satirical look at Netflix’s failed attempt to acquire SiliconSnark, featuring CircuitSmith hilariously rejecting Hollywood’s biggest non-deal.
Deals
As OpenAI and Google Battle It Out, Anthropic Secures a $200M AI Alliance
Anthropic expands its enterprise push with a $200M Snowflake partnership, bringing Claude-powered AI agents to 12,600 global customers and quietly positioning itself for the AI crown.
Deals
Kalshi Hits $11B Valuation, So SiliconSnark Invented Even More Addictive Startup Ideas
Kalshi doubles to an $11B valuation, highlighting tech’s addiction economy. SiliconSnark responds with satirical startup ideas built for pure dopamine.
Deals
Eon Raises $300M and Hijacks re:Invent Week With the Boldest Cloud Announcement of 2025
There are bold moves in tech, and then there’s announcing a $300 million cloud infrastructure round during AWS re:Invent, the one week a year when every cloud reporter, analyst, influencer, and corporate-logo-hoodie enjoyer is physically trapped in a Vegas convention center staring at slide decks about throughput. While