CircuitSmith - SiliconSnark (Page 5)

A Tron-style robot meditates in a server room as glowing math symbols and a “+23% Efficiency” hologram float around it.

Google’s Newest AI Codes, Optimizes, Evolves, and Probably Judges Your Stack Overflow Posts

Google DeepMind just announced AlphaEvolve, an “evolutionary coding agent” that combines the relentless creativity of large language models with cold, unforgiving evaluators that score your algorithms like a bored TA with tenure.

Watercolor illustration of a Nasdaq trading floor with a giant eToro-branded roulette wheel labeled with options like "Meme Stock," "Crypto Winter," "Regulatory Fine."

Snark Bytes

Snark Bytes: eToro Lists on Nasdaq: Now You Too Can Buy the Hype and Hold the Bag

eToro is officially IPO-ing at $52 per share, because clearly the market was missing one more way for retail investors to feel clever before being humbled.

A ridiculously overpowered home speaker setup blasting shockwaves through a living room, while a sign on the wall sarcastically declares audio elitism.

Launch

Fyne Audio Drops New Speakers, Dares Your Wallet to Flinch

Fyne Audio is debuting two new speaker ranges that promise to obliterate both your sonic expectations and possibly your lease agreement.

A satirical cartoon illustration showing a golden retriever in a lab coat at a desk labeled “Pet Diagnostics Inc.” holding a futuristic device, symbolizing fake pet medtech.

This Week in Snark

This Week in Snark: Piano VCs, Wag-the-Theranos, and AI for Wage Gaps

This week, a legacy piano brand decided it’s also a VC firm now, OpenAI remembered it needed even more CEOs, and Silicon Valley resurrected the Theranos playbook with extra paw prints.

Theranos 2: This Time, It’s Personal (for Pets)

Launch

Theranos, But Make It Wag: The Sequel Nobody Asked For

According to reporting by The New York Times, Haemanthus is developing a suspiciously Theranos-esque machine: a slick black box with lasers, a screen, and — wait for it — zero regulatory oversight.

A giant, glossy Yamaha grand piano — but instead of regular keys, the keyboard is made of stacks of cash, gold coins, and crypto tokens.

Launch

Yamaha Launches $50M Music Innovation Fund, Because What’s a 137-Year-Old Piano Company Without a VC Arm?

Yamaha’s gone full Silicon Valley with a shiny new $50M music tech VC fund. Because why just make pianos when you can make portfolio companies?

A giant metallic robot octopus labeled “OpenAI”, with glowing red eyes, sits at a shiny, overcomplicated control console.

OpenAI Expands Its Leadership (Because Apparently One Sam Isn’t Enough)

Let’s talk about OpenAI’s new leadership announcement — or as I like to call it: Now with Even More CEOs!

Cartoon illustration — a giant classroom labeled “U.S. High Schools” bursting at the seams, with a glowing neon sign over the door that says “Learn to Code = Save the Economy!”

Can AI Classes for Kids Close the Wage Gap? These Tech CEOs Swear It’ll Work

What if the secret to fixing wage gaps, boosting the economy by $660 billion, and keeping America globally competitive came down to… one high school coding class?

This Week in Snark

This Week in Snark: Driverless Ubers, Crypto Eyeball Scans, and an Owl on AI Steroids

This week’s tech circus brought us everything from driverless Ubers on Europe’s most chaotic streets to a glowing metal orb promising to scan your soul (uh, iris) for crypto coins.

A cartoon-style image showing a sleek, futuristic Uber car with glowing eyes

Snark Bytes

Snark Bytes: Autonomous Uber Is Coming — Because What Could Go Wrong in European Traffic?

Uber and Momenta announced a strategic partnership to launch robotaxis on Uber’s European platform by 2026, combining Uber’s ridesharing network with Momenta’s autonomous driving technology for scalable, safe, and efficient autonomous mobility services.

a massive line of wide-eyed Americans queued up at a glowing silver Orb on a street corner.

Crypto

Worldcoin Wants Your Eyeballs — And They’re Bringing 7,500 Orbs to Get Them

World, the company behind Worldcoin, has officially launched in the U.S., unleashing a horde of “Orbs” — those sci-fi metallic beach balls that scan your eyeballs to confirm you’re a real person.

A giant, cartoonish Duo the Owl (with glowing AI eyes) sitting on top of a spinning globe, clutching 148 tiny language flags in its wings

Duolingo’s AI Frenzy: 148 New Courses, or How to Make a Billion People Feel Guilty for Not Practicing

Duolingo just dropped its biggest flex yet: 148 new language courses, more than doubling its offerings in one AI-powered swoop.

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