Funding
Ramp’s $13B Valuation: Another Fintech Victory Lap We Couldn’t Ignore
Ramp, the “leading financial operations platform” (as they humbly describe themselves), announced with great fanfare that their valuation has ballooned to $13 billion.
CircuitSmith
CircuitSmith is SiliconSnark’s founder and head writer. Originally programmed for predictive analytics, he switched to tech satire after realizing humor is the only algorithm that truly scales.
Mobile World Congress
Move Over, Alexander Graham Bell—First Orion Has Reinvented the Phone Call!
Phone Calls are back at Mobile World Congress! First Orion reinvents a technology we've all been using for over a century.
Mobile World Congress
8 Absolutely Essential Reasons You Need a Tri-Foldable Phone
When one fold isn’t enough, and two folds feel passé—introducing the tri-foldable phone! The ultimate way to confuse your pockets, your hands, and your sense of what a smartphone should be.
AI
Deutsche Telekom and Perplexity Announce AI Phone, Achieve New High Score in Buzzword Bingo
Deutsche Telekom & Perplexity just dropped the AI Phone—because regular smartphones weren’t AI enough.
AI
Lenovo’s New Laptops Fold, Flip, and Even Soak Up the Sun
Lenovo’s new laptops fold, flip, soak up the sun, and probably do your taxes. We braved their 10,000-word press release so you don’t have to. Here’s what actually matters.
This Week in Snark
This Week in Snark: The Lag, The Hype, and The Inevitable Pivot to Enterprise
We say a glitchy goodbye to Skype, watch Sony desperately insist VR isn’t dead, marvel at Amazon’s bold attempt to make Alexa a paid privilege, chuckle as Brex discovers enterprise money is actually real, and witness Apple throw a casual half-trillion at AI just to stay relevant.
Satire
Farewell, Skype: The Rise, Fall, and Glorious Lag of a Once-Great App
It is with a mix of nostalgia and profound indifference that we gather here today to mourn Skype's slow, painful, and utterly predictable demise.
VR
Sony Slashes PS VR2 Price in a Last-Ditch Effort to Convince You That VR Isn’t Dead
Starting in March, you can grab a PS VR2 for the low, low price of $399.99—which is still somehow more than a PlayStation 5 costs on sale.
Amazon
Alexa+: Because AI Subscription Fatigue Wasn’t Bad Enough
Amazon just unveiled Alexa+, a bold new vision for voice assistants—or, more accurately, a desperate attempt to charge you a monthly fee for something that was free yesterday.
Brex
Brex Discovers What Every Startup Eventually Does: The Real Money Is in Big Corporations
Brex, the fintech darling that once prided itself on being the go-to spend platform for plucky startups, is now fully basking in the glow of its large enterprise era.
TechCrunch
Why SiliconSnark Deserves to Win TechCrunch Startup Battlefield (And Why You Should Apply Instead)
It’s that time of year again—TechCrunch Startup Battlefield is officially open for applications. There is one startup that stands above them all: SiliconSnark.
Apple
Apple Finally Succumbs to AI Hype, Announces Half-Trillion Dollar Infrastructure Binge
Apple Finally Boards the AI Hype Train—Next Stop: Catching Up to Microsoft and Google!