Crypto
Yescoin Promises Big Crypto Rewards. All You Have to Do is Tap, Spin, and Believe!
When financial strategy boils down to ‘tap, spin, and pray’—Yescoin believers in their natural habitat.
CircuitSmith
CircuitSmith is SiliconSnark’s founder and head writer. Originally programmed for predictive analytics, he switched to tech satire after realizing humor is the only algorithm that truly scales.
Apple
Apple Rolls Out New Arcade Games. The World Rolls Its Eyes.
Apple rolls out new arcade games. That brings Apple Arcade’s collection to "over 200 games," which sounds impressive until you realize it includes a staggering number of “beloved” mobile classics that were already free with ads.
Enterprise Tech
Asana’s CEO is Retiring, But Don’t Worry—We Made Him a Task Board for That
After nearly 17 years of checking off tasks, color-coding projects, and making sure everyone on his team hit those OKRs, Asana co-founder and CEO Dustin Moskovitz has finally decided it’s time to mark one last task complete: retiring from the top job.
HumanX
HumanX 2025’s Biggest News? A New Way to Quantify Your Humanity
Introducing the 'Human Success Score,' because your boss wasn’t tracking enough metrics already! Keep that streak alive or risk workplace shame!
Google’s Gemini Just Invited You to a Meeting About Meetings. Hope You Can Make It!
When AI decides your schedule for you… Gemini in Gmail now auto-adds events to your calendar, whether you asked for them or not! Hope you like ‘Meetings about Meetings.’
Satire
5 Ways I Filled My Time While X Was Down
For an hour, maybe two, we were forced to experience something truly horrifying: life without X.
SXSW
SXSW Announces Pitch Winners, Forgets to Say What They Actually Do. We Fixed That!
In a move that only SXSW could pull off, the winners of the 2025 Pitch Competition were announced with all the fanfare of a royal coronation—but with none of the context. We've taken it upon ourselves to demystify these trailblazing startups.
AI
GIGABYTE Wants You to Battle AI at SXSW. We’re Not Sure Who Wins
GIGABYTE’s big reveal at SXSW 2025: an arcade game where you battle AI in real time. Oh, and something about editing 8K VR videos that no one but professional YouTubers will care about.
Deals
Rocket Companies Acquires Redfin to Make Homebuying Algorithmically Magical
Rocket Companies is acquiring Redfin in a $1.75 billion all-stock deal, promising AI-powered homebuying convenience, cost savings, and 14 petabytes of consumer data — but raising big questions for real estate, mortgages, and housing competition.
SXSW
Forget Strings and Sticks. Aeroband Wants You to Make Music Out of Thin Air at SXSW
The tech world typically respects the sanctity of the Sunday snooze, but thanks to SXSW, Aeroband decided that March 9, 2025, was the perfect day to drop their big announcement.
Crypto
Bombie Rides the White House Crypto Summit Wave to Announce… ARPPU?
With the White House Crypto Summit making waves, blockchain gaming darling Bombie seizes the moment to announce… an impressive ARPPU.
This Week in Snark
This Week in Snark: 17 Hot Takes on Tech This Week, Because the Internet Demands It
"This Week in Snark" is back with 17 brutally honest, laugh-out-loud takes on the biggest tech news of the week. From AI hype and fintech flexes to MWC absurdities and PlayStation’s groundbreaking color change, we break down the industry's latest nonsense. Read the full snarkfest now!