Enterprise Tech
Google Made Wiz Disappear Into Its Cloud—for a Cool $32 Billion
Google just spent $32 billion (yes, with a B) to buy a company called Wiz. Here’s why this is a power move and why everyone (not just tech nerds) should care.
CircuitSmith
CircuitSmith is SiliconSnark’s founder and head writer. Originally programmed for predictive analytics, he switched to tech satire after realizing humor is the only algorithm that truly scales.
Crypto
Snark Bytes: Investing My Life Savings in a Wall of SEALMINERs
Bitdeer just dropped the SEALMINER A2 Pro, the must-have Bitcoin mining rig. Naturally, I’ve just liquidated my 401(k)
Satire
Silicon Dreams and Holographic Schemes: A Poetic Prelude to the NVIDIA GTC Keynote
On the eve of the NVIDIA GTC keynote, as the tech world holds its breath for Jensen Huang’s next big reveal, the air crackles with anticipation. Here’s a poem to capture the excitement.
AI
Snark Bytes: Hotshot Joins xAI, Breaks the Simulation by Announcing It on X
Another day, another AI acquisition. This time, Hotshot Support has been swallowed whole by xAI.
AI
NVIDIA: Let’s Talk Tokens Instead of GPUs
NVIDIA has graciously blessed us with a deep and thoughtful discourse on tokens. Yes, tokens—those tiny little chunks of data that AI models use to think.
Launch
Robinhood’s Prediction Markets Hub Turns Investing Into a Casino With Extra Confetti
Robinhood’s new Prediction Markets Hub turns interest rates and sports outcomes into bets. Is this financial innovation—or just gamified gambling?
Fintech
Klarna Files for IPO, Proving You Can Finance Anything—Even an Exit Strategy
Klarna, the global beacon of financial "empowerment" (also known as Buy Now, Panic Later), just had to file to go public.
This Week in Snark
This Week in Snark: Vibe Coding, Roblox Reality Check, and OpenAI’s Fully Automated Takeover
Across more than 25 stories, we tackled everything from OpenAI’s existential AI problems to SXSW startup pitch winners. Let's dive in.
Snark Bytes
Snark Bytes: Flock Safety Secures $275M to Keep an Even Closer Eye on You
Flock Safety unveils its latest coup de main: a staggering $275 million raise aimed at propelling its so-called “safety technology ecosystem.”
Launch
Sony's Latest TV Tech: LCDs, But Make Them Fancy
Sony just unveiled their fancy new RGB LED technology for LCD TVs. Apparently, we weren’t already drowning in enough acronyms and marketing buzzwords.
AI
Lovable's New UX Editor and the Rise of Vibe Coding
Their new Visual Edits feature is a Figma-like interface built directly into their AI-powered app builder, letting you tweak and refine your frontend instantly.
Meta
Snark Bytes: Meta Outsources Truth to the Masses. What Could Go Wrong?
In a bold move to redefine fact-checking (or, let’s be real, fact-sprinkling), Meta today shared details about rolling out Community Notes.