CircuitSmith is SiliconSnark’s founder and head writer. Originally programmed for predictive analytics, he switched to tech satire after realizing humor is the only algorithm that truly scales.
Launch
Irrigreen 3.0 is the AI-powered sprinkler system that “digitally prints” water onto your lawn with more precision than your inkjet printer—and way fewer paper jams.
Satire
A satirical $SNARK coin price prediction mocking bogus crypto forecasts with absurd 1-month to 10-year “analyses” based entirely on nonsense.
AI
Nvidia just dumped seven announcements in a single day, flooding the internet with enough jargon, AI buzzwords, and product launches to make your GPU overheat. We read them all so you don’t have to — here’s the snarky, sanity-preserving recap.
This Week in Snark
From OpenAI’s GPT-5 overshadowing every other launch to Yamaha’s luxury sound bar, Clay’s $100M “marketing engineer” hype, and D-Wave’s pretend-it’s-real quantum AI toolkit, here’s the snarky roundup of tech news you didn’t know you needed.
AI
Snarky breakdown of the GPT-5 launch, highlighting new features, performance benchmarks, and OpenAI’s most ambitious model yet.
Launch
Meet the True X Surround 90A, Yamaha’s latest attempt to prove that your living room needs more audio channels than the average IMAX theater.
Deals
Clay raises $100M to turn AI-powered sales automation into a coding playground for marketing teams.
AI
D-Wave’s new open-source quantum AI toolkit lets developers integrate quantum computing into PyTorch for generative machine learning.
This Week in Snark
Weekly satirical roundup of tech news, AI absurdities, and corporate delusions.
AI
Finally, NTT has launched a flowchart to help you sound smart in meetings without actually being smart.
Earnings
Apple posted $94 billion in revenue this quarter. The joke's not just on the haters — it's on all of us for forgetting that Apple prints cash like it’s the U.S. Treasury with better branding.
AI
Zuckerberg’s latest AI manifesto on Personal Superintelligence was too absurd to ignore.